


Attack on benders: The legend of the Titans

by firexice



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action & Romance, Attack on Bender, Attempt at Humor, Bending, Can't believe I'm doing this, Earth, Epic, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fire, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Missing right arm, Multi, Saving the World, The legend of the Titans, Water, You are a waterbender, air, attack on benders, combine ALL of the fandoms, yes I just killed off the avatar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-11 10:21:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 28,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3323945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firexice/pseuds/firexice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Water…Earth…Fire…Air. Long ago, humanity lived together in harmony beyond the three spirit walls the Avatar created to separate the humans from the spirits. Then everything changed when the Colossal Spirit attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he perished. Two years passed and my friends, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and I decided to join the Military. Although our bending skills are great, we still have a lot to learn before we’re ready to save anyone. But I believe, that we can save the world. </p><p>Eventual Reader x Levi. Enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Book 1: Spirits- Chapter 1: Remember Remember

**Author's Note:**

> Prologue  
> The year is 845. Giant spirits monsters have existed for as long as humanity can remember. Thanks to the Avatar’s powers, three large spirit shields were created to protect humankind from being devoured by these colossal spirits. However, the first wall fell when a large dark fire spirit broke shattered and permanently destroyed the first of the three barriers. As the first wall fell, another spirit, later termed the Armored spirit, killed the Avatar while in the avatar state, thus ending the Avatar cycle and crushing Humanity’s faith and hope for the future. Since then, humanity has fallen behind the crumpling 2nd barrier. You are a waterbender who saw first-hand the destruction of the dark spirits who killed your family. You along with your friends Eren, Mikasa, and Armin decide to join the Military to reestablish balance between the humans and the spirit world. Where will fate take you in this epic adventure? 
> 
> This is my fanfic attempt at combining SnK and Avatar (the bender kind, not the blue people kind mind you). This is also my first fanfiction. Enjoy.

You remembered that day all too vividly. The day the first of the spirit walls collapsed. Your childhood friends Eren, Mikasa, Armin and you were just sitting, just talking. It was just a normal day. A normal day of Armin’s theories about the spirit wilds and places far beyond the spirit wall, of Eren’s never-ending excitement about Armin’s ideas, of Mikasa watching Eren with the slightest of smiles ghosting her pale complexion, of you leaning back against the warm pavement and dreaming about the lands of ice, the fields of fire, and the body of water that extended beyond what eyes could see. 

Then, everything changed when the Colossal spirit attacked. That day, humanity remembered…the terror of being ruled by them. The humiliation of being kept in a cage.

The Colossal spirit was unlike anything you had ever seen. Its glowing white eyes peered over the top of the spirit shield, an impossible size, for the wall was almost 100 meters tall. You had never heard of a spirit being so large before. It was covered in steaming rippling muscle and had a third eye on its forehead. You and your friends did nothing but stare as the Colossal spirit let a blast of pure energy spring forth from the third eye and shatter the wall. 

You remember chaos as the city was devoured by its fear. The feeling of your feet pounding against the pavement as you left your friends in search of your family, only to find the crushed remains of your older sister Ava [MC L/N] and the remains of both your parents near your house. The feeling of sadness and numbness consumed your body followed by a raging anger. With your anger, the stream beside your house began to flow violently as you unleashed your fury. You discovered that day you could water bend. With your new-found water bending powers, you lashed out at the nearest spirit with all of your might. But you weren’t strong. You were but a weak child. The spirit retaliated in full and grabbed you in its pulsating hand. You struggled against its power to no avail. You distinctly remember the ripping sensation as the spirit tore off your right arm with its glistening teeth. As you screamed, your vision faded in and out of blackness. Your right shoulder spurted out blood with each weakening heartbeat as you sobbed, realizing the inevitable. The spirits mouth opened again, this time to consume your entire being. 

That was when you tilted your head back against the spirit’s hand and saw him above you, his body seemingly flying against the cloud scattered sky. 

He was covered in Spirit blood, and the two blades that he held in his hands dripped crimson from his most recent kills. On his back, trailed an emerald cape embroidered with the blue and white wings you recognized from the Scout regiment. His steel-flecked eyes were narrowed dangerously, and his lips were bent downwards in a permanent scowl. 

Despite his vicious appearance, you couldn’t help but think that he was perhaps an angel, soaring above you. You smiled upwards at him through your tears and pain.  
His eyes widened slightly, but quickly resumed their narrowed focus. In a flash, he descended downward towards the spirit, maneuvering around the spirits head before quickly slicing into its neck.

You remember falling towards the ground as the spirit’s hand released you. Before you smashed into the ground, you felt a gust of air rise up from underneath and you landed gently on the ground. 

The last thing you could recall was the face of your savior grimacing at you as he held your broken body in his arms, yelling, “Someone get a fucking healer over here!” 

When you woke up, Armin, Mikasa, and Eren were all there by your side. Some soldiers had found you and sent you with the last boat that left from the Shiganshina District. From what they told you, humanity had fallen behind the second wall and the Avatar had been killed while in the Avatar state. A devastating blow to all of humanity. Both of Eren’s parents had been torn apart before Eren and Mikasa’s eyes. Armin’s grandfather was later sent out on a pointless expedition that resulted in the death of 20% of the remaining population so that the rest of humanity could survive the crippling food shortages.

But somehow, by fate’s hand, your friends had all survived. You had survived, despite the odds. On that day, you vowed to become stronger so that you would never witness another death to the spirits that ruled the world. You vowed to become just like the man who saved you: fearless, strong, and determined. You vowed to become the greatest water bender the world had ever seen. 

Together with your friends, you all promised each other that you would learn how to become soldiers and fight back. And you believed, that together with your friends, that you could save the world.


	2. The Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Water…Earth…Fire…Air. Long ago, humanity lived together in harmony beyond the three spirit walls the Avatar created to separate the humans from the spirits. Then everything changed when the Colossal Spirit attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he perished. Two years passed and my friends, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and I decided to join the Military. Although our bending skills are great, we still have a lot to learn before we’re ready to save anyone. But I believe, that we can save the world. 
> 
> Eventual Reader x Levi. Enjoy.

“The 104th Cadet Corps Class entrance ceremony will be begin now! You have the misfortune of having me, Keith Shadis, as your commanding officer! You are _not_ welcome here! In your current feeble state, you are nothing but food for the Spirits! You are less than livestock! Over the next three years, we’re going to train you worthless brats how to fight the spirits. Three years from now, will you still be fodder for them?! Will you still submit to their will and oppression?! Will you serve as an honorable barrier that protects the king?! Or will you be a glorious soldier for humanity that drives the Titans out?! That’s up for you to decide!” [1] 

Keith Shadis was possibly one of the scariest individual’s I’d ever seen. His bald forehead was seared with wrinkles and he eyes were shroud in a darkness that burned into the deepest depths of my soul. Yet here I was, standing at attention with my comrades in arms: Eren, Mikasa, and Armin. My friends and I had finally decided to begin our military training at the age of 12. I stood unmoving at attention as Shadis began to walk among the 104 th trainees for the _“rite of passage”_ as the instructors called it. I stood between two of my best friends, Mikasa and Armin, solemnly waiting for the yelling to begin. 

To my surprise, Keith Shadis walked straight past Eren, Mikasa and I before standing firmly in from of Armin.

“Alright Aryan coconut, what’s your name?!” 

I could feel Armin stiffen next to me as he screamed back in his squawky voice, “I-I’m Armin Arlet from Shignashina, sir!”

“Is that a stutter I hear cadet?! Do soldiers stutter?!” Shadis shouted, bending over so that his face was a mere five inches from Armin’s.

“N-No sir!” Armin piped back, I could sense a few trickles of sweat dripping from his temple. 

_Stay strong Armin!_ I willed back at him mentally. Armin was always a little nervous, though he was strong in his own way. I was always impressed how he held his ground when he was being bullied by some of the other bender kids around our neighborhood. It was tough to grow up as a non-bender. The strong prey on the weak- and Armin was no exception to the rule. I remember how Eren would charge at the bullies, fire in his hand, and Mikasa would follow with the earth rumbling behind her. Talk about terrifying. At that time, I didn’t know I could water bend, so I just followed suit with my fists raised and warrior cry on my tongue behind Mikasa. 

Those were the good days. And then our third shield fell and everything changed. I frowned at my sudden negative turn in thought, glancing down towards where my right arm would have been. Should have been. Since I had lost my arm, I had made the habit of continually water bending an arm-like figure in its place and covering it with a long black glove. It wasn’t that I was embarrassed or anything. Far from it. Losing my arm had allowed me to dive in head first into my water bending training, especially while I was put to work in the fields as part of the irrigation team. All of us had to work in the fields to make ends meet. It was hard work, but it was better than starving to death. At least as field workers, the military police would provide us with some food to fill our empty stomachs after a day’s work. 

Now, thanks to my “training,” I was able to manipulate the water as an extension of my mental will. My arm was now more powerful than I ever could have imagined, especially when I turned my fist into ice below the glove’s surface. It made for a mean punch whenever I had to defend myself without having to draw too much attention about my water bending. 

So why did I wear the glove then? Simple. People ask too many questions. They always stare at the puckered white scar that covers my shoulder. Then after the questions comes the, “Oh my, I’m so sorry. You poor thing, you’ve been through so much” spiel. I don’t want anyone’s pity. I don’t define myself by my physical limitations. In fact, being armless has made me an even stronger water bender. And I will be even stronger after this training. 

And that another thing, everyone’s has been through a whole lot of crap since spirit wall Maria fell. Yet for some reason, when people hear about my arm, they automatically assume I have the worst story out there. I don’t view myself any different from the rest of the children who lost their families and parents to the spirits. Yes, it still hurts thinking about my parents and my older sister. I still even have nightmares from when they died. But it was because of their influence, their love, their sacrifice that I am here today, and I will never forget them. I _choose_ not to agonize over the past and instead, strive to better my future. Humanity’s future. 

That’s why I’m here.

I know Eren’s here to learn how to kill the Spirits. And I don’t blame him for that. I probably would too had I actually seen my family get devoured right in front of me, but I have a slightly different perspective than he does on the matter. Mikasa’s here because she want to watch over Eren, of course. Which again, I totally understand. Eren’s always gotten himself into trouble. And to be honest, sometimes, Eren needed Mikasa’s help, whether he liked it or not. 

But why was Armin here again? He wouldn’t just join to trail in Eren’s shadow right? Of course not. Armin was here for- 

“To contribute to humanity’s victory, sir! To see the wall Maria recreated and taken back! ” Armin yelled, his eyes closed in concentration.

“How very admirable!” Shadis spit, “You’ll make for a first-rate Spirit snack! 3rd row, about face!”

In unison, we turned, facing the next row of trainees subject to Shadis’ wrath. I barely managed to conceal a giggle looking into the faces of the other trainees. If fear had a voice, it would be singing Les Miserables music right now.

Shadis continued on to the 4th row of trainees.

“And who the hell are you?!” 

“Jean Kirstein from Trost, sir!” A tall boy with sand colored hair and a long face shouted back.

“What are you here for?!”

“To join the Military Police Brigade as a top class Fire bender and reside in the inner District, sir.”

My first impression of him: _What. An. **Ass.**_

“Oh? That so?”

“Yes sir!” The boy retorted proudly, a hint of a smirk played along the corners of his cheeks.

“You must have a good head on your shoulders.” Shadis continued, oddly happy.

“Thank you si-“ 

Suddenly Shadis slammed his head into the boy call Jean’s face. Jean groaned loudly and fell to the ground, grabbing his head with both hands.

“Who the hell said you could sit down maggot? I doubt you could even light a fart on fire in your current state! If you can’t handle this, you can forget about joining the Military police!” He snarled, eyes narrowing at the crouched boy before him.

_He totally had that coming._

Shadis stomped over to the next boy who had short parted black hair, freckles dimpling his cheeks, and warm brown eyes.

“Who the hell are you? Why are you here?!” 

“Marco Bott of Jinae, sir! I want to join the Military Police and give my life in service to the king!” The boy yelled back, a kind smile gracing his face as he spoke with fervor.

“A fine goal indeed Cadet. But, just so you know, the king doesn’t want your lousy life or limbs! You there-” He spun to the boy next to Marco, “You’re next!”

_Crunch. Crunch._

“What on earth was that?” I wondered to myself at the peculiar crunching noise. My gaze zoomed on a girl who was of all things, munching on a potato. 

I was torn between the need to laugh out loud or to slam my head against a wall. Dear god, this was actually happening. 

Her munching did not go unnoticed and a few seconds later, Shadis turned his ugly face towards her.

"Hey, you.” He spoke, his voice chillingly soft. Potato girl didn’t respond. All of her concentration seemed to be focused on the potato in hand. 

Marching over to her, his voice resumed shouting levels, “What in the world do you think you’re doing?! I’m talking to you Potato girl!”

The brown pony-tailed girl looked up, undisturbed.

“Sasha Braus from Dauper Village!” She said, her words muffled by the potato remains in her mouth.

"Sasha Braus! What is that you’ re holding in your right hand?”

“A steamed potato, sir! I found one in the cookhouse that was ready to eat, so I took it!”

“You stole it,” his left eyebrow jerked upwards, “Why? Why did you decide to eat it now?”

"It would be a waste if I let it get cold! Then it wouldn’t be a hot potato. So, I elected to eat it now sir!”

“You know,” Shadis mused, “Potatoes are quite high in calories. You know what’s good for burning off calories?”

“What?”

\--

“I still can’t believe anyone would do that- especially on the first day of training, “I said, as Eren, Mikasa, Armin and I sat down at the dining room tables.

“I still can’t believe he still has potato girl running.” Eren muttered in disbelief, shaking his head towards the window. 

“She’s really something,” Mikasa agreed. 

“Still, the running didn’t seem to bother her as much as being told she has to skip meals!” Armin piped up. The few strangers around us that heard him chuckled in amusement.

“Hey you!” A strange voice belonging to a short bald kid said, his question directed at Eren. 

_I’m pretty sure his name was Connie or something like that. Oh yeah! He was the one who screwed up the salute!_

“I don’t think we heard anything about where you’re from.” He continued, squatting down next to the table we all sat at.

“Oh, I’m from Shiganshima, same as them.” Eren gestured to me, Armin, and Mikasa.

“No way! Were you there on…that day? Did ya see the Colossal Spirit?”

We were instantly surrounded by our fellow cadets at the mention of the Colossal Spirit. Eren’s face darkened. 

“Yeah, I saw it. We all saw it.” 

“Really? How big it it?!” One girl piped up.

“Tall enough to look over the wall.”

“What did it look like?” A boy spoke up this time. 

“It was huge with glowing eyes and a third eye on its forehead. Almost no skin too.”

“What about the armored titan that killed the Avatar? What was that one like?”

Our faces all darkened instantaneously. I wasn’t there when the Avatar was killed, being unconscious from blood loss, but I knew all too well the story from what Armin told me. Eren and Mikasa had refused to talk about it. Apparently the Armored titan could lava bend and he managed to subdue the Avatar with its brute strength before boiling the Avatar alive in magma. If it was anything similar to having my arm eaten then… I shivered at the thought while my phantom limb gave a shockingly painful throb at the memory. And to think even the Avatar couldn’t defeat the spirits. _That_ was a depressing thought. 

My mind trickled back to the man who saved my life. Who was he? Would I ever get the chance to say thank you? I sighed. Probably not. Most likely, he was already dead. On the slim chance that he was alive, I had no idea of how to find him. 

_Geez, what’s with all of these horribly depressing thoughts? Get yourself together [F/N]!_ I shook my head vigorously, trying to clear the cloud of gloom that had just settled in. 

The others saw our distraught faces and Connie quickly recovered with, “Sorry for asking things like that. Let’s spare them the questions guys.”

“No!” Eren yelled passionately, his distraught face lifting upwards into one that glowed with determination and strength. His forest-green eyes burned with fire, “It’s not like that! The spirits aren’t actually that big of a deal! Once we’ve mastered omni-directional gear and our bending, they’ll be nothing to us! That’s why I’m going to join the Scout Regiment and slaughter all the spirits!”

“Eren…” I whispered softly, my [E/C] eyes widening in shock at his sudden outburst. 

"Ha!” A cocky voice cackled in the background at Eren’s enthusiastic speech. I turned my head to face the source of the boisterous laughter. Of course. It would be the Asshole from Trost, Jean. What was this? Potato and asshole day? Go figure.

“What? You got a death wish or something? Did you just say you’re going to join the Scouts?” Jean mocked, his mouth pulled up to one side in a smug grin.

“Yeah, I did.” Eren retorted, his eyes narrowing in annoyance, “Aren’t you the one who wants to join the military police and live the easy life?”

For a second, I thought I saw a flare of fire burst from Eren’s clenched fist.

“I’m all about that honestly. It’s much nicer than say, a pathetic twerk who acts tough but is actually scared shitless.”

“What did you say to me?” Eren demanded, standing up and walking towards Jean. The two glared at each other menacingly as fire erupted from both of their clenched fists. I wasn’t about to stand back let Eren start a fight on the first day of training and break the rules already. Before Mikasa could jump to Eren’s side, I bent all the water from our tables’ cups and slammed the water into both Eren and Jean, extinguishing their fire and leaving them both bewildered and soaking wet.

“Both of you stop it.” I stood up calmly, glaring at both of them, but allowing my gaze to linger on Jean who winced at my stare. I ignored the other cadets watching at me. Bending was strictly prohibited without a higher ranking soldier present. So much for my “not breaking the rules” spiel. 

Eren gave me a death glare before storming out of the dining hall. 

Mikasa gave me a sympathetic look before calling out Eren’s name and following him outside. Mikasa was always the best at dealing with Eren. I would let him be for the night. 

“[F/N], you’re not supposed to-“

“I know!” I snapped back. Armin winced at my sudden flare-up.

I sighed, “Sorry Armin. I know. I _probably_ should have handled that better.”

“No kidding,” Armin replied, a grin already back on his face, “But on the bright side, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about anyone bothering you for a while.” 

I glanced around to all of the other cadets. Some averted their gaze uncomfortably while others smiled at winked at me in approval. Jean looked firmly away from me, his hair flat against his head dripping with water and the slightest hint of a blush on his cheeks. 

One girl stood out to me in particular. She had an overall vacant expression that looked more severe by her platinum blond hair being pulled back tightly in a bun. For a moment there, I thought I saw a brief spark in her water blue eyes as we looked at each other. Her eyes briefly flickered down to my right arm, but she quickly resumed her deadpanned expression at her food, her eyes blank once more. I couldn’t help but wonder who she was before being interrupted by Armin talking about tomorrow’s training plan.

So here I was, my first day in training. My time as a child, who was weak and unable to help defend the world from the spirits, came to an end. And like the cycles of the seasons from winter to spring, so I would grow and become a soldier for humanity.

_To be continued….._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview for the next Chapter- You, Eren, Mikasa, and Armin begin your training with bending and omni-directional gear. What challenges will training have in store for you?  
> \--  
> [1] Quote was paraphrased from SNK show. Not that this really matters, but I do like to give credit where credit is due.
> 
> Also, I couldn’t resist using the “Aryan Coconut” from team four stars Attack on Titan Parody- It was just too good to pass up. 
> 
> Again, please let me know what you think/anything you’d want to see/if you liked it/if you hated it/whatever! Thank you for reading! If you got this far reading through my little notes here, I hope you have a wonderful day! Thanks!


	3. Be Water my Friend- Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Water…Earth…Fire…Air. Long ago, humanity lived together in harmony beyond the three spirit walls the Avatar created to separate the humans from the spirits. Then everything changed when the Colossal Spirit attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he perished. Two years passed and my friends, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and I decided to join the Military. Although our bending skills are great, we still have a lot to learn before we’re ready to save anyone. But I believe, that we can save the world. 
> 
> Eventual Reader x Levi. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. 
> 
> Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” –Bruce Lee

“Attention Cadets, today we will be determining your overall aptitude. If you fail this, you won’t even be fit enough for Spirit fodder! Fail this, and you’ll be sent back to the fields!” Shadis screamed, his voice echoing across the flat plain of our training ground. 

_Well, this was easier than expected._ I dangled effortlessly from the suspension, occasionally twisting my body into different positions to feel the balance change between movements. As a water bender, stability always seemed to come naturally to me.  
Armin seemed to be doing well enough, occasionally losing his balance and wobbling unsteadily in the air. Mikasa was steady as a rock. She and I exchanged a set of smiles from across the training area. 

Jean, or horseface as Eren decided to call him, was also doing well, much to my displeasure. Potato girl swung effortlessly back and forth like she was a little kid swinging in a tire swing. 

I giggled as I heard Shardis yell, “This isn’t a fucking swing set, Blouse! Quite your swinging or you’ll lose today’s dinner!” 

“Yes s-sir!” Sasha replied immediately, her body instantly going rigid.

“And what the hell do you think you’re doing Jaeger?!” Shadis yelled.

I glanced over only to see Eren flipped completely upside down. His face displayed a mixture of both surprise and mortification.

“Straighten yourself up cadet!”

“I’m trying sir!” 

“Trying isn’t good enough Maggot! Do it!” 

Try and try again Eren did. Each time falling face first on the ground, much to his chagrin. 

After omni-directional gear training, we, the benders, were separated into different groups based on bending type to assess our aptitude for the bending arts. Eren, Jean, and Bertolt went off to the fire bending arena while Mikasa, Marco, and Reiner went with the earth bending group. Connie and potato girl left with the air benders, leaving the blond girl named Krista and I to walk over with the other water benders. Armin gave me a reassuring high-five before leaving with the other non-benders back to the base camp for additional omni maneuver training. 

“Attention Water benders, today you will be sparring with one another to determine your aptitude for bending!” Our grey haired instructor announced, pacing through our ranks. “Remember, you are sparring to make an impression! Your performance here today will determine what teams you will be placed on for your training! Perform poorly, and you will find yourself among other weak benders! Do well, and you just might become strong enough to fight the spirits!”

I looked around at the other benders beside me. Some of them looked rather confident while other meekly gazed down at the ground, muscles taut with nervousness. As for me, I tried my best not to be _too_ cocky. I knew I was good, but I had never sparred against other truly proficient benders, especially other water benders for that matter. I had only really used my bending in the most desperate of situations- primarily in the street fights that Mikasa, Eren, and I got into when other people tried to take our rations. 

“Annie Leonhardt! [F/N] [L/N]! You two are sparring partners!” The instructor commanded, “Step forth!” 

I walked calmly towards the center of the arena. The ground had been outlined with a slight divot in the dirt as a boundary for the bending area. On the north and south sides of the area were two water containers for waterbending. My eyes widened as the blond girl with the blank expression from last night stepped forward. 

Looks like she was a water bender as well. I had the strangest feeling that this was going to be an interesting fight. 

“But remember- no ice is allowed- not yet anyways!” our instructor commanded, “We don’t want another impaling accident on our hands! Understood?”

“Yes ma’am!” We replied in turn. 

Facing each other, we assumed our fighting positions approximately 15 meters apart. She stood in a right-foot forward fighting stance, both hands raised in a fist to cover her head with her elbows cocked several inches apart. Her face was once again, completely expressionless as she watched me take up my stance. I stood left foot forward with my left hand raised open-handed at head level and my right liquid hand by my waist, palm up. I felt the water moving behind me in the vessel as the vibrations from the earth disturbed its rest. I could sense its soothing energy as I reached out towards it with my mind. I sighed as my mental will submerged into the blue abyss, shimmering with the reflected beams of sunlight. It was a religious experience to me, the sensation of moving water with my lucid mental grasp. It was so peaceful, yet at any moment, I could transform this water into a raging storm to crash into my opponents. 

“Begin!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading- sorry for the horrible cliffhanger- I just need a little bit more time to polish up the second half before posting it. I was initally going to post the whole chapter at once, but this chapter took such a long turn, I decided to post it in two different parts. But fear not! I shall be posting the second part either sometime later today or tommorow. :)
> 
> If you liked it, please feel free to leave a comment/kudos/whateveryouwanttodo!


	4. Be Water my Friend- Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Water…Earth…Fire…Air. Long ago, humanity lived together in harmony beyond the three spirit walls the Avatar created to separate the humans from the spirits. Then everything changed when the Colossal Spirit attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he perished. Two years passed and my friends, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and I decided to join the Military. Although our bending skills are great, we still have a lot to learn before we’re ready to save anyone. But I believe, that we can save the world.

“Begin!” Our instructor commanded.

Annie immediately sent a short jabbing burst of water towards my head. I quickly turned sideways to avoid the stream and immediately countered with a surge of my own water. She jumped out of the way and retaliated again, this time with a larger stream of water.  
For a few minutes, we remained at a stalemate, shooting out vicious attacks without making any progress. Who was the better? It was impossible to tell. I wove in and out of her shots smoothly while throwing in a few counters at every opportunity. She matched me blow for blow. Once, I failed to move fast enough and Annie’s water slammed into my left arm, leaving my arm stinging from the blow. I grimaced but shot back with lightning fast tendril of water straight into her solar-plexus. I smiled triumphantly as her eyes bulged at the impact of my shot. She gasped, her right arm going down to clutch at her stomach. Then, her aqua eyes narrowed in concentration. Her lip curved down in a frown. She was pissed I realized.

Annie launched a three wave combo at me. As I stepped backwards to avoid the stream, I felt a ledge of ice materialize behind my sole standing foot.

 _Shit!_ I cursed inwardly as I lost my balance and began to trip backwards. 

I can’t believe she just used ice! Talk about cheating! 

Well, if she was going to play that way, then I wouldn’t hold back any longer! 

As I fell, I arched my back and extended my water arm behind me my head. I hardened my liquid right hand and launched myself up towards the sky, somersaulting midair and landed solidly on my feet. Just as I landed, Annie unleashed another large stream of water towards me.  
I didn’t have enough time to dodge the stream I realized as the blast of water headed straight towards my chest. My eyes widened as I saw flecks of ice imbedded in the torrent of water.

Moving in a circular motion, I extended my mental will out to the water and seized it from Annie’s grasp. I sent most of the stream back in full force towards her, which she barely managed to avoid by jumping sideways. The rest of the water I used to create a tendril-like extension of water to cloak both my arms.  
I sprinted towards her, my water arms waving behind me agitatedly. 

In response to my new-found aggression, Annie created two arm cloaks of her own and charged forward to meet me.

Our water clashed together as we struggled for dominance. I could feel beads of sweat falling down the sides of my face in the effort to rend Annie’s water away from her. Annie fared no better- her sun-kissed hair slick against her skull from her own sweat. 

This is going nowhere. I realized quickly at our impasse. I hastily relinquished my grip of her water. 

As I pulled back, she quickly transformed the water surrounding her into a barrage of ice needle, all directed towards me.

“What did I say about ice!” The instructor shouted nervously, seemingly debating whether or not to interrupt our heated battle.

Screw that!

Before Annie could pierce me with the ice, I lashed out with a small whip like motion of water towards her feet, tripping her backwards. As she fell, I rushed forward, shifting my right arm into an ice pick driving it downwards towards her throat, just stopping before I pierced her ivory skin. I froze as I realized that she too had extended up an ice projection towards my throat.

 

Stalemate.

 

Annie’s eyes brightened with a radiant intensity as we gazed at one another, realizing what just happened. Then just as quickly, the light faded from her eyes. I thought I saw the slightest of smiles playing on the corners of her lips.

“That’s enough Cadets!” The instructor snarled, pulling me harshly off of her and throwing me to the ground.

I stood up, dusting myself off. As I glanced around me, I notice Annie and I were surround by our fellow cadets, all watching us with awed expressions on their faces. 

“That was amazing!” Krista said excitedly, running up next to me, “I’ve never seen anyone use the water the way you guys did! It was incredible!”

“Thanks,” I chuckled, slightly embarrassed. I glanced over to where Annie had just been.

Annie was already walking away from the arena by the time I caught up to her.

“Hey.” I began, running up to her side.

She didn’t respond.

“Where’d you learn how to bend?” I asked, curiously. I was slightly pissed she had broken the rules, but it had been so long since I had had a real challenge like that to go up against. I wanted to spar her again in the future.

“…My dad.” She replied softly.

“My name’s [F/N] [L/N].”

“Annie Leonhardt.”

“You’re one of the best water bender’s I’ve ever sparred. We should spar again sometimes.” 

“Hm.” Was all she replied. 

_Just slightly awkward._

“Why didn’t you use your water arm?” Annie asked, directing her gaze towards my leather covered arm.

I froze. She couldn’t sense it... could she?

“I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about.”

Annie gave me a skeptical glance, her left eyebrow slightly raised in disappointment. 

Sighing, I replied, “I just don’t want people to treat me differently. I don’t want them to think of me as some sort of freak I suppose.”

Annie’s eyes wavered for a moment, an emotion I couldn’t identify lurking behind her eyes.

“You may be different from the rest of them, but just because you want to appear normal, go with the flow- it doesn’t mean you aren’t human.” She said, averting her eyes. 

I paused. I had the odd feeling that her statement wasn’t directed at me.

Feeling slightly awkward, I spoke in a hushed tone, “If you wouldn’t mind not mentioning it to the others, I’d appreciate it.” 

“It’s not my secret to tell.” Annie replied, walking away from me.

 

\--

 

“How’d you do?” Mikasa inquired upon my return. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin had already made it back to the Mess hall and had started eating dinner.

“Pretty good. Had a stalemate match with Annie Leonhardt. She’s a tough one. What about you? You kick everyone’s asses again? ” I replied, smiling knowingly at her.

Mikasa blushed, “You know I-“

“Of course she did.” Eren replied nonchalantly. 

Mikasa turned several shades redder.

Sometimes I wondered if Eren would ever realize she liked him. Sometimes, he was just too damn oblivious for his own good. It was _seriously_ frustrating at times.

“How about you Eren? How was your firebending?” I asked, praying that Eren wasn’t still mad at me for yesterday’s incident.

“It was alright. I got paired up with Bertolt- he’s pretty good.” Eren muttered, avoiding eye contact with me. 

_Yepers, he’s definitely still upset with me_. 

“How did horseface do? I bet he sucked!” Armin inquired, trying to lighten the mood.

Eren grimaced with unabated irritation. 

“Turn’s out horse shit over there can fire bend.” Eren turned his sore stare at Jean, who was engaged in a loud debate with Marco. 

I sighed. This was going nowhere fast. Better just get it over with than delay any further.

“Eren, I’m sorry for yesterday. I didn’t mean to make you mad at me.” I said softly. 

A flash of shock spread across Eren’s face.

“Oh that? I’m not upset about that.” Eren finally turned his emerald eyes at me, “It’s more…I just can’t believe I couldn’t even do the simplest omni-gear training right.”

His whole body tensed up as he spoke. I knew he was determined, but there was only so much you could do with sheer determination and no talent. That was the horrible and sad truth about it. I didn’t agree with it, but sometimes, life was unfair. 

“You don’t have to. You don’t have to be in the military Eren.” Mikasa spoke. 

“Don’t have to?!” Eren’s voice loudened.

“You could go back to the fields. You wouldn’t be alone.”

Eren glared at Mikasa, lifting his food tray off the table and walking away.

Even softer, she whispered, “I’d come with you.”

“Armin,” I said, “Why don’t you try and give Eren some advice about the omni-gear? Maybe Reiner and Bertolt can help. They seem nice enough.” 

“I guess it’s worth a shot.” Armin said, following after Eren.

Mikasa and I exchanged a knowing glance. 

 

\--

 

The next day at omni-manuever gear training, as it turned out- Eren’s omni-gear was defective from the start. Go figure! 

_Looked like Eren was worried for nothing after all._ I thought to myself as I turned my sights onto Eren who beamed triumphantly back at us with a resolute smile spread across his entire face.

 _We made it through the first few days of training and survived._ I smiled, raising my head skyward and glancing up at the crystal clear stratosphere.  
“SKREE!” I heard, the raw-throated call of an eagle soaring above the Spirit wall.

 _Someday soon, I too will go beyond these walls and soar like you, winged-god and master of the skies,_ I vowed to the disappearing bronze tipped wings that flew beyond where humans could only dream. 

_I too shall fly and break free and serve to understand these spirits one day. And I shall receive a pair of my own wings, ones branded blue and white._ For that was why I was here. It was true, I didn’t know if humanity could win, but I would try my best to save the lives I could. Just like he with the grey eyes, and raven black hair, and twisted frown saved my life three years ago. I am ready to fight and I am ready to win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time- Your training has finally come to and end after three years of brutal rigor and discipline, but what will happen when the Colossal Spirit comes back to destroy Humanity's 2nd spirit wall? 
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts about my story- any comments or suggestions for future chapters would be much appreciated. Again, thank you for reading!
> 
> As a sidenote, I'm eventually going to break away from the AOT main storyline, but that won't happen until a few chapters from now.


	5. The Crossroads of Destiny- Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING***  
> PUN ALERT  
> ***WARNING***  
> I apologize ahead of time for all of the rock-related puns- I just couldn’t resist. Gosh, I love my horrible puns.

_Three years later…_

“I can’t believe we’re graduating tomorrow!” Connie yelled excitedly in the mess hall,” It feels like we started yesterday!”

“You said it Connie,” Eren agreed. 

I smiled. We had made it after all and it was amazing to see the progress we had all made after three years of hellish training.

The rankings had been posted today after our final exam and I was proud to say I had gotten 5th in the 104th trainee class. 

\----The Official Top 10 Ranking----  
1- Mikasa Ackerman

2- Reiner Braun

3- Bertolt Hoover

4- Annie Leonhart

5- [F/N] [L/N]

6- Eren Yeager

7- Jean Kirstein

8- Marco Bott

9- Connie Springer

10- Sasha Blaus

Over the past three years, Mikasa specialized in metal bending and was ranked at the top of our class as No. 1. As a certified military metal bender, she got to wear a specialized suit of metal armor underneath her military attire. Talk about an iron defense! 

Reiner Braun was strong both physically mentally and rock solid earthbender as well, though he was unable to learn metal bending like Mikasa. Still, I looked up to his outstanding mental fortitude. He was a pretty nice guy overall, not to mention super tall. He made me feel super short, especially seeing that I stood at a mere 5'2".

I was surprised that Bertolt Hoover was ranked third. His firebending style was good, though it seemed to be lacking the energy and passion behind it that Eren’s fire had. He was outstanding in the classroom setting though.

Annie Leonhart just barely beat me in the rankings. After our first sparring matching, I made her my go to partner for water-bending practice- but only when she wasn’t slacking off. She only really seemed to come alive when we sparred together. Regarding the test, I did manage to score higher on my bending proficiency than her, but she outmatched me when it came to omni-directional mobility. I was never really clear if she regarded me as a friend, but I did enjoy the time I spent with her. At least she seemed to respect me as a person. I would miss her when she joined the military police. I did try to convince her to join the scouts, but she seemed set on the military police path- not that I blame her. 

For Eren, his training was more of a rocky road if you get my drift. Out of all of us, he had the most intense determination to defeat the Spirits I had ever seen. Thanks to his ruthless willpower, his firebending skills grew exponentially- he was more than a match for hot headed Jean’s fire bending now.

Speaking of horse-face, Eren. Beat. Jean. 

**Hell.  
Yes. **

And that’s all I have to say about that. 

Marco also performed well on his final exams- and I was happy for him. I had gotten to know Marco as a wonderful idealistic person who strove to see the best in humanity. I never knew what Marco saw in Jean though, or even why he would hang out with Jean in the first place, but the two always seemed hitched at the hip. Maybe that’s why he always hung out around Jean- he could see some hope left in that annoying bastard’s soul. Regardless of Marco’s questionable friend choice, he always put me in a good mood when I got the chance to talk to him and I valued our friendship together. 

_I’d be sad to see him go off to the Military police, but that where he wanted to serve- and with good cause at least, unlike *cough cough* someone over here._ I thought to myself. 

Connie and Sasha also did incredibly well, especially considering they were air benders of all things.

I could feel the corner of my mouth being tugged up into a grin as I remembered when Sasha had been _officially_ dubbed the world’s first _fart_ -bender by Shadis when she accidentally created a mini-tornado during practice thanks to the beans she had eaten earlier. Talk about an unforgettable day.

But enough reminiscing. On top of my wonderful test ranking, today would potentially rank one of the best days in my existence since my early childhood years.  
Why? Because today I saw him for the first time. The man who saved my life five years ago when the first spirit wall was destroyed. He **was** alive. And today, I even learned his name.  
Captain Levi.

\--  
Author’s Note:  
Quick background for my story- airbenders are typically viewed as the weakest form of bending within the military.  
Also, M/C is 15 years old now. Just as an fyi. Also, in regard to the 5'2" height, your character can be whatever height you want her to be (I just put her at that height, because that's how tall I am) :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, cliffhangers suck- but I'm still working on the next part which I will definitely be publishing later this week- so look for it then. This chapter is more to give you guys an idea of what happened in the three year gap of training. Next chapter will be super-action/humor packed- I promise! Again, thank you guys so much for reading- I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> As always, please feel free to leave me a comment and let me know what you think so far!
> 
> Have a wonderful day!


	6. The Crossroads of Destiny- Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Water…Earth…Fire…Air. Long ago, humanity lived together in harmony beyond the three spirit walls the Avatar created to separate the humans from the spirits. Then everything changed when the Colossal Spirit attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he perished. Two years passed and my friends, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and I decided to join the Military. Although our bending skills are great, we still have a lot to learn before we’re ready to save anyone. But I believe, that we can save the world. 
> 
> Eventual Reader x Levi. Enjoy.

_Flashback_  
\- A few hours earlier-

_  
Eren, Mikasa, Armin and I watched as the Scouts paraded through the streets, preparing for their nearing departure into Spirit territory. I watched them in awe as they passed me by- a trail of green hoods riding on the backs of brown and green colored Eel-hounds. Eel-hounds were the fastest travel animal over both land and water and were the animal of choice for the Scout corps when they ventured into Spirit territory. They were interesting animals to say the least. Their long thin appendages didn’t look like they could run fast, but at an all-out sprint, their legs would blur together in their impossible speed as their streamlined bodies sliced through the air._

_“Tomorrow, I’ll be joining the Scout corp and learning to ride an eel-hound myself.” I thought, my eyes trailing after the rhythmically swaying motion of their mounts._

_“Who’s the guy with the pissy expression next to Commander Erwin?” Armin whispered to Eren, pointing at one man in the midst of the formation riding atop a bright-green eel-hound._

_“That’s humanity’s strongest soldier! Captain Levi!” Eren whispered in a hushed reverent tone- his eyes glowing with excitement._

_Curious to see what all the talk was about, I turned my head and saw…him, the man whose face was eternally burned into my memory. His undercut hair style was exactly the same as when I had last seen him, over five years ago to date. If anything, his scowl had deepened since then. Out of all the minute details I noticed, it was his eyes that caught my attention; I could never forget those steady steel-colored eyes that seemed to pierce straight into my soul._

_“Beautiful…” I found myself whispering under my breath._

_As if on cue, he turned his face towards mine and his metallic eyes met my [E/C] eyes. I felt my cheeks burn red as he met my gaze. But I couldn’t hold back the happiness bubbling up within my heart._

_He._

_Was._

_**Alive.** _

_I smiled up at him radiantly, letting my emotions run freely across my face.  
His eyes widened in surprise at my smile. He cocked his head at me, eyes tightened questioningly before glancing over my right arm. Instantaneously his eyes dulled back into their expressionless formation. He looked away from me, continuing forward on his mount without looking back. _

_Didn’t he remember me? Why wouldn’t he recognize- I don’t understand-_

_Oh_  
...  
Right. 

_I’m sure he would have remembered me if I was missing an arm or something along those lines. Last time he saw me, I was bleeding out from the spirit that ripped my arm off. I had briefly forgotten I was still water bending an arm-like figure beneath my leather black glove. For a moment, I regretted my decision to keep hiding my water arm from the world. Maybe I should consider taking off the glove after all…_

_“[F/N]?” Mikasa asked questioningly._

_“Hm?” I responded, in a half daze, my eyes still trailing at the disappearing green-caped man I now knew as Captain Levi._

_“Why are you smiling like a love-sick puppy?” Mikasa asked bluntly, crossing her arms across her chest._

_I snapped back to reality._

_“What are you talking about Mikasa?” I played dumb._

_“I totally just saw you checking out one of the Scouts. Who was it? Don’t even think about lying to me.”_

_“No one of consequence.” I replied, lying between my teeth, “But if I did have feelings for someone, I’d at least grow the balls to just tell him instead of drooling at him from the sidelines.”_

_Mikasa instantly turned to see if Eren had noticed my insinuation, but he was still intently observing the departing scouts corp. Without missing a beat, Mikasa elbowed me hard in my side._

_“Kidding!- *gasp* Just kidding!” I wheezed sharply through the throbbing pain in my side. Geez, Mikasa’s elbows were fucking hard._

_“You ok [F/N]?” Armin taking notice of my pained expression, blissfully unaware of Mikasa’s not –so-subtle-exchange with me._

_“Yep, just dandy over here,” I grimaced through the pain, clutching my side, shooting a dirty look towards Mikasa._

_“What’s wrong with your side then?”_

_Mikasa glared at me threateningly, as if daring me to tell. I sighed._

_“Oh you know…just womanly cramps…” I lied._

_Armin’s face flushed completely red._

_“Oh!-um- well uh- I hope you feel better!” Armin managed to squeak out through his  
embarrassment._

_Even Mikasa couldn’t help but smirk at my comment._

__

\--

Present time.

\--

“Can you believe they’re making us clean the walls before the final ceremony?” Connie grumbled, angrily blowing a pile of dirt with his fist off the edge of the wall rose, “This fucking sucks!” 

“But it’s tradition!” Bertolt yelled from the edge of the wall while sweeping out the cannons with a blackened broom.

“It’s the final rite of passage before we can join our chosen corp.” He continued.  
Rite of passage it maybe, but this was super gross. Being a water bender, I was tasked with cleaning out the defensive cannons with the liquid cleaning fluid. 

“Ug!” I cried bending out the now piss-black water from the cannon’s interior, “this is disgusting! How long has it been since anyone’s cleaned this?” 

Eren laughed at me as he swept another section of the wall near me.

“Probably not since the last trainees were here. Garrison’s doesn’t seem like the cleanest sort.”

Filthy, just completely filthy. I walked over towards the edge of the wall where Bertolt was and flung the turbid water off the edge, watching the water hit the ground with a satisfying splat.

As I turned back to resume my cleaning, I noticed Eren slacking off by the edge, gazing dreamily into the distance. He was smiling a real smile as he gazed into the green fields past wall Rose.

 _What is he thinking about?_ I wondered to myself, standing at staring at him.  
His face was upturned reverently towards the sky with a fierce, yet kind look of determination spread across his face. 

I smiled gently towards him.

_We made it this far didn’t we Eren? You. Me. Mikasa. Armin. Anything is possible right now. We can start changing the world for the better. We can-_

Out of nowhere, a giant bolt of lightning flashing yellow and green struck the ground with a thunderous crash. The flash of light left me dazed until I saw the giant muscular face that appeared behind the steam formed from the savage lightning strike. The face whose flesh steamed heat, whose eyes I had seen five years ago who I would never forget, whose third eye destroyed the entrance to spirit wall Maria. 

 

 _Shit_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On next time-  
> The colossal spirit has unveiled itself yet again, standing against Humanity's Last stand. What will happen to the spirit wall? Only time will tell.
> 
> If you've made it this far- thank you so much for reading!


	7. The Battle for Trost- Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Water…Earth…Fire…Air. Long ago, humanity lived together in harmony beyond the three spirit walls the Avatar created to separate the humans from the spirits. Then everything changed when the Colossal Spirit attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he perished. Two years passed and my friends, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and I decided to join the Military. Although our bending skills are great, we still have a lot to learn before we’re ready to save anyone. But I believe, that we can save the world.  
> Eventual Reader x Levi. Enjoy.

The Colossal spirit let out a giant cloud of high powered steam, sending me, Eren, and the rest of our comrades flying off the side of the spirit wall. 

I fell harshly towards the ground, saved only by my quick reflexes by activating my 3D maneuver gear and pinning myself on the wall. I groaned as my feet slammed against the hard surface. 

One of our crew mates was knocked unconscious and fell down without stopping. Before I could react, Sasha launched herself downwards towards the plummeting cadet, connecting one wire into the wall and spearing him in the calf muscle just a few inches before he hit the ground. I cringed inwardly as the sharp metal pierced his leg, sending out a large spurt of blood. I swore I could hear his hip pop out of place as he bobbed up and down from the wire- clearly unconscious. 

For a moment, the world around me went gray. Time slowed in motion as I absorbed what just happened. In the scramble of my mental status, I could hear Eren shouting in the distance about something, but I couldn’t seem to make sense of what he said. Breathing sharply, I calmed the whirring of my mind and focuses on the three things that did make sense to me:

1\. The colossal spirit was back.

2\. Out of all the nightmares I still had about five years ago, I knew instantly that this was _way_ to real to be a mere dream.

3\. There was no time to hesitate- I needed to act **now** , or so help me Spirits I would kill myself later for cowardice.

My color vision suddenly flooded back into existence as the dangling cadet let out a moan as he came to. Everything went icy clear as my healing-training kicked in.

“Sasha! Lower him to the ground- I’ll take care of him.” I commanded towards Sasha, repelling quickly towards the ground. She nodded jerkily in acknowledgement, her mouth hanging open in shock. I glanced around towards my friends. They too, were all frozen with astonishment save for Eren, who was in fact, missing from the group.

I frowned in confusion.

 _We’ll think about Eren later._ I told myself, fully immersing myself in the task at hand.

I landed on the ground, my impact sending a wave of dust particles into motion around my leather-booted feet.

Before I could reach the now grounded cadet, I felt the earth rumble as what I could only assume was the colossal titan shattering the wall gate with another savage explosion from his third eye. My vision blurred from the impact, going white for an instance before fading back into muted colors. My ears let out a high pitched ring.  
I was tempted to turn and look at the damage of the wall, but my objective was before me. I had to help the cadet- Anthony I think his name was. 

Summoning some water from the flasks I always carried by my side to hold bending water, I quickly iced the area outside of the puncture wound to stabilize the metal imbedded in his flesh.

“This is going to hurt.” I told him calmly, going into healer-mode. I wasn’t sure if he could hear me after the blast, but at least I tried to prepare him for the pain, “I’m going to extract the metal from you and then seal off the wound until you can receive advanced treatment alright?”

He didn’t respond, but continued to stare at me blankly with a pale white face and tightly drawn lips. Using the remaining water from my flasks, I iced all of his limbs to the ground to prevent thrashing and further injury upon extraction. 

As gently as I could without damaging any more tissue, I extracted out the metal piercing his leg using my water arm. His eyes widened and he began to scream in agony. His head turned side to side in a wild frenzy, but my ice held firm. As soon as the metal was removed from his calf, I moved some of the iced water to his wound, sealing over the exposed muscle, preventing any further blood loss.

I bended some of the glowing water around his head to sooth the pain using a technique I had learn from Master Healer Katara- one of my favorite instructors during my training. I held the water there for a few moments until I forced him into an unconscious slumber to null the pain.

I turned mechanically to the petrified Sasha, “Sasha, I’m going to take him over to the fort for treatment. I’ll also go in to submit my report on the colossal spirit. You guys need to report to the base as well.”

Sasha stared at me blankly, but I couldn’t waste time, grabbing Anthony and attaching him firmly to my back with my water supply before taking off into the air with my 3D maneuver gear towards the fort.

 

\--

 

As soon as I dropped off Anthony to the fort, the bells began to ring their haunting tune throughout our district, signaling all military personal to meet up at the base for further instruction.

Before the briefing, I managed to meet up with Mikasa, Eren, and Armin.

“Where were you?!” Eren asked upon seeing me already back at the fort.

“What do you mean where was I?” I replied, crossing my arms across my chest. I could sense Eren’s irritation bristling off him like a cat confronted with a bath. 

“After the Colossal spirit attacked the wall, I was the only one who was sane enough to do anything! And then after he vanished again, I found you were also gone! Where the hell were you [F/N]!” 

“You didn’t kill him then,” I grimaced as the painful recollections of five years past came flooding in my mind.

“That’s beside the point! You out of all of our cadets should have helped me!”

“Perhaps you didn’t notice,” I hissed,” but I was busy providing medical attention to one of our friends. Being the only healer in the group, I had to take him back to the fort!”

“The colossal spirit was the bigger priority! You of all people should know that!” 

“Hey guys- maybe this isn’t the best time to argue, I mean-“ Armin interjected uneasily.

“Shut up Armin!” Eren and I both shouted.

“Eren! [F/N]!” Mikasa spoke coldly, obviously annoyed by our bickering, “The past is already behind us. [F/N]’s a healer. It would have been stupid for [F/N] to charge  
headfirst into battle considering that she was the only healer in your squad. What would have happened if she was killed? Everyone knows the healers are supposed to minimize contact with the spirits and to focus on helping injured teammates. But still [F/N], you should have helped Eren, what if he had been killed?!”

“Mikasa!” Eren grumbled, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks, “You don’t need to baby me!”

I ignored Eren and Mikasa as they too, began to squabble.

Mikasa of course, was right, but there was something in her tone that vexed me further. I didn’t want to be just an “average healing person”- I was more than ready to take on the spirits. It was my duty, not only to the military, but to honor my family. 

Before our discussion could continue, I heard one of the heads of the Garrison commanding us to attention. 

In our debriefing, I was assigned to the squad with Eren, Armin, Thomas, and several others of our fellow cadets as the primary medical support for our squad. As such, I was expected to stay out of direct combat.

Not that they could _really_ enforce that rule, but I would try to follow my orders as best I could.

Mikasa was reassigned to the rear guard to help evacuate the citizens, much to her dismay.

\--

15 minutes later, our squad headed out into battle. Many spirits had already passed through the opening in the Spirit gate and the evacuation had just started. Who knew how many people had already been eaten by the spirits? I felt a wave of nausea pass through my potato-filled stomach.

But we were ready for this- all of our training- we **had** made it. We were survivors, weren’t we? 

As our squad launched towards the first targeted spirits, I saw a spirit peeking its head out from behind a building.

 _An abnormal?_ I wondered as my stomach plummeted.

Abruptly, the spirit jumped skyward and caught Thomas in his mouth. I landed on the nearest building and looked on in horror as Thomas looked back at me. He was dangling upside down from the spirit’s mouth, his mouth fixed in a slight o. I thought I saw a trail of blood dribble down from the left corner of his mouth down towards his left eye. His eyes widened as the Spirit threw its head back and swallowed him whole. The spirit’s neck rippled as Thomas slid down past its esophagus. He didn’t even scream. There was only silence.

Eren screamed in fury and propelled himself towards the Spirit, his green eyes blazing with internal hatred.

“Eren!! Don’t!!!” I cried out, but it was already too late. 

In a vicious motion, the spirit jerked its head up and bit off Eren’s leg. I could see the flecks of blood spray into the air from his bloodied stump as Eren fell into the ceramic roofing of a nearby building.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We weren’t supposed to be eaten like this. Yet here I was, watching in horror as my friends I had known for three years were  
devoured before me. 

I couldn’t move. My body was consumed by fear. 

Why couldn’t I fucking move!?

Why couldn’t I save them?!

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Armin standing, just as shocked as I was by the cruelty of the spirits. I looked on numbly as a nearby spirit picked him up, holding him briefly above his mouth before dropping him down the gullet.

I had told myself I would be brave, for my family, for the man who saved my life, for the scouts I was about to join. 

I don’t think I’ve ever hated myself more at this moment for my inability to do anything but stare. 

Just as Armin was being swallowed whole, Eren flew out of nowhere, his motion sustained by the large crimson flame he generated from his one remaining leg. Eren grabbed onto Armin’s falling form and threw him from the Spirits mouth, crashing into the ceramic roof-top.

 _He’s going to make it!_ I realized as Eren reached out his hand towards Armin. As Armin leaned forward to grab Eren from the spirit’s jaws, the spirit bit downwards, sending Eren’s arm spiraling gravity-bound with another burst of sun-dyed blood. 

Eren… 

Tears began to pool in my eyes. He didn’t deserve this death. He was one of my best friends and he is going to change the world…was going to change the world. Why was world so horrible, so unfair, so-

I paused.

That’s right. It was unfair. But that’s always been how it was. Always how it has been. Always how it will be. I was just too blind to truly see it before. It was unfair that my parents and sister were killed by the spirits. The world is cruel. Life is cruel. Perhaps my fate is to die right here alongside my friends.

My gaze hardened. 

But my friends made life worth living. They made it worth enduring the pain and the hardships.

Something snapped inside of me, a barrier perhaps, shattered down by this epiphany. Suddenly, I was able to move.

Armin still was frozen in fear when I grabbed him, scooping him up over my shoulders and gliding away from the where the spirits had begun to converge on our position.

I don’t know how I did it, but my body automatically weaved through the gnashing teeth, the ever reaching hands of the spirits’ grasp, the steaming hot-bodies of the giants. I managed to find a secluded rooftop away from the largest spirits and I crashed down there, scraping myself up the fall as Armin fell limply beside me.

Groaning, I propped myself up from my throbbing side, glancing over towards Armin’s crumbled figure. I crawled over toward him, grabbing his hand to measure his pulse. I could sense the plasma rushing through his veins as I counted the throbs. 1…2…3…

Pulse: 90 beats per minute. No sign of internal trauma either. He was fine after all. I sighed in relief.

“Armin, we’ve got to get back to the fort, I’m already running low on gas from running away from the spirits.” I began.

He stared at me blankly. Completely unresponsive.

“Armin…”I murmured softly. I knew what he was feeling, for I was feeling the same. 

Guilt. Grief. Pain. Horror. Fear. 

But it didn’t matter. We had to fight. The grief would have to wait. 

“Armin, we have to keep going, I can’t carry you anymore.” I continued, shaking him gently by his shoulders.

No response.

I winced as I felt the earth rumble as a spirit began to walk towards us.

14m. I stood unsteadily on my feet, ignoring my aching body as I unsheathed the stainless steel blades in response to the advancing spirit. This one had short black hair with an eerie lopsided grin surrounded with yellow rotting teeth filling the inside of its bloodstained mouth.

I tilted my head back, letting out a raw cry before spiraling straight towards the grinning spirit. The spirit responded exactly how I had predicted, swinging out its left arm, fingers fully extended. I swung down beneath its elongated limb, twisting my body midair and connecting my metal grips with the nape of its neck.

Drawing inwards towards the base of its neck, I iced my right hand, folding my swords back for the killing blow. My blades connected with the steaming flesh as I cleaved the flesh from its neck. The spirits motion halted completely, before wobbling unsteadily, plummeting face first into the ground.

I stood unmoving atop its steaming back, acutely aware of the burning sensation on the soles of my boots, staring down at the now disintegrating spirit.

My first kill. I realized, with a slight sense of accomplishment. 

But there was no time to waste to dwell on my small victory- if you could even call it that. I brought myself back towards the rooftop I left Armin on, only to find him sitting up right, arms wrapped around his knees. His shoulders shook as the waves of anguish rolled through his small figure.

My breath hitched in my throat as I noticed another squad of cadets was heading towards our position. I could see Ymir, Jean, Marco, and Connie among them. 

"Oi!" I heard Jean call out, "[F/N]! Armin!"

My eyes lifted upwards towards his, but I didn't respond. Jean's brows furrowed in response to my empty stare.

What would I even say to them after everything that had just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys! I was swamped with school and work and life as a whole. Thank you so much for reading! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!


	8. The Wake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I do apologize for the time skip, I believe it is a necessary evil for me to progress in the story (I don’t want to feel like I’m just summarizing up the series without creating anything new in this fanfiction). I’ll be giving a quick reflective bit to cover what happened in the skip (it’s only a few days anyway, three to be precise), but after that—I’m super excited about what I’m going to be writing next. Again, thank you guys for reading my un-beta-ed work and for your support (and thank you again if you are reading my little writer comments here!). Enjoy!

Where do I even begin? To be honest, my mind is still struggling to make sense of all that I’ve seen these past few days. Eren had died. I saw him as his leg was eaten by a spirit. I saw him get swallowed by a spirit before grabbing Armin and barely making it out alive from the spirit-filled territory. I thought humanity was done for- despite all of my training these past few years and all of my promises to myself to be strong in the face of danger. 

Yet, for some reason I was still alive, though many of my friends had died in what the newspapers now called the _Battle for Trost_. What was even more incredible was the fact that Eren was still alive, and back with all of his previously dismembered limbs. 

I’m not sure how it happened, but he became a spirit and essentially, saved humanity’s ass by sealing the hole with a giant piece of the blown up spirit wall opened by the colossal spirit. 

So, what am I doing now, besides contemplating the strange events as of recent?

Oh, you know, _the usual._ Helping clean up the streets littered with half-eaten decaying bodies left behind. Spirits, I didn’t know I was becoming so cynical as of late. I guess seeing your friends getting eaten alive will do that to you. I just hoped that there was some silver lining behind all of this shit. 

The once gray streets of Trost were splattered with rust-colored stains through the blocks I covered with my team members. It was a mind numbing task that I would have never imagined myself doing. For every body I found, it was the same process. First, attempt to identify. If I recognize them, I write down the name on the white piece of parchment. If I don’t know them, I draw a tally mark on the yellow sheet of paper, body bag and ice it with water from the water tanks, throw the body on the wooden cart, and continue forward to the next person. 

I tried not to think about it too hard. 

I found my gaze dropping downward as I trudged forward, moving methodically from person to person. Abruptly, I crashed into the well-defined chest of a clearly tall male. I flinched as I mumbled a quiet apology without looking up.

“Sorry,” I heard the individual mutter back. A familiar voice I realized, one typically dripping with arrogance that seemed strangely devoid of all emotion at the moment.

Jean Kirstein. 

His eyes were red around the rims and it seemed as if he had aged two years since I had last seen him. 

_How long ago was that?_ I wondered, my mind drawing a blank. _Oh yeah… that was when Eren came out of the spirit’s neck._

“Oh. It’s just you.” His eyes widened as he recognized me. 

It was strange, I had really disliked him before the Spirits invaded the Trost district, but after he motivated everyone to keep going towards the refueling center, I had a much better opinion of him. Maybe that was what Marco saw in him all this time. 

I frowned, speaking of Marco, I hadn’t see him as of late. 

“How are you?” I asked dully. It was a stupid question that I already knew the answer to.

“Pretty fucking shitty.” He sniffled, whipping his brown eyes.

“Is Marco with you?” I asked, looking around pensively, “I haven’t seen him in a while.”  
Jean’s face darkened and I instantly regretted asking.

“I-I just saw him, or, what was left of him.” He choked out, his voice breaking. His hands covered his face in an obvious attempt to hide his tears.

I stared at him, dumbfounded to see him in such a miserable state. They were very close, I could only imagine the misery he must be feeling. 

_Just like I felt when I thought Eren has died._ I thought grimly to myself.

What do you even say in a situation where “I’m sorry,” doesn’t even begin to cover the depth of your feelings?

I awkwardly reached in to give him a hug for the words I didn’t have and for the words that wouldn’t matter. 

Jean reached around my small frame and pulled me in close. I could feel his entire body shaking as my left shoulder became increasingly damp.

 

\--

Time skip

\--

It had been one week since the spirit wall was sealed. We (Mikasa, Armin, and I) had finished cleaning up the streets and had just settled in to the mess hall. It was strange, eating in complete silence, but what was there to talk about really? After Eren sealed the wall, he was taken away by the military police to god knows where. I was worried what was to become of him, as were we all. 

Suddenly, a loud voice boomed over the quiet titters of the crowded room.

“Ackerman, Arlet, [L/N]!” A voice shouted from within the mess hall, “You are all required to come with me as witnesses.”

The mess hall went instantly silent as I looked at Mikasa- our eyes conveying more than words could hope to match. This was no doubt Eren’s trial we were going to. One hour later, we were ushered into a military sanctioned tribunal to determine Eren’s fate.

I could feel Mikasa tense beside me as Eren walked inside the courthouse where they restrained his arms on a metal pole so that he sat, crouched on the ground before the Judge and the numerous onlookers.

His eyes wavered frantically between us, the military police, and the judge, unsure as to where he should direct his attention.

As the noise in the hall gradually diminished, the judge tapped on the wooden stand, drawing all attention towards him.

“Shall we begin then?” The judge began, shuffling the thick stack of papers in his hands on the podium.

“Eren Yeager, correct?” He leaned in, examining Eren through his silver lined spectacles. 

“Yes sir.” Eren replied stiffly. 

“In these circumstances, this hearing will be a military tribunal where ordinary laws do not apply. I have been given all authority to make all judgements. In short, we will decide whether you live or die. Understood Yeager?”

“Yes,” he replied softly, his gaze cast downwards.

“Good, then, let us get straight to the point. I will decide which regiment to place you in, the Scouts, to live and fight as they have proposed, or the military police, which have advocated for disposing you.”

The military police officer then proposed the disturbing plan of dissection before elimination, much to my disgust, while the Scout's commander, a man named Erwin Smith, proposed to use Eren’s unique abilities to reclaim the spirit wall Maria.

Somewhere, during the presenting of evidence, chaos began. Mikasa was accused during her speech of being an abnormal psychopath driven by her violent past, to which Eren came to her defense, only to be attacked by the Military police and the Wallists. 

_This isn’t a trial! This is a fucking shit show!_ I screamed internally, using all of my self-restraint to prevent me from doing anything too stupid. It was a miracle I hadn’t water-slapped the ridiculous Spirit-Wallist priest with all the crap he was spewing. _They don’t even know Eren! He’s not a monster!_

In the midst of the shit show, I could see Eren internally fuming. Bright orange flames were beginning to flare from the center of his clenched fists.

 _Don’t you **dare** lose your fucking temper here Eren! _ I mentally willed at him as my blood boiled. 

Spirits, I’m such a hypocrite. 

His eyes widened as the Wallists began to verbally assault Mikasa. As soon as they called her a monster, I saw his self-control shatter.

“Enough!!” He screamed, sending a shockwave of ruby flames bursting out in a circle around him. I winced from the flare of fire as the surrounding air became uncomfortably hot. The room entered into an immediate silence at his savage outburst.

 _Shit, fuck, shitty fucking NO EREN!_ I cursed inwardly as my water arm pulsed agitatedly from within the leather confines. 

“First off, you’ve never even seen a Spirit! If those with strength don’t fight, then who will stop them?!” He demanded, his eyes narrowed in anger.

“You…Cowards… Just shut up and let me fight them all!”

As if on cue, Eren’s body burst into scalding hot flames. 

Instantaneously, a large gust of wind shot down past me towards Eren, extinguishing all of the fire that had erupted from Eren’s figure.

One member of the Scouts just inches behind me had leaped over the wooden fencing separating the corp. members from Eren like a graceful leaf in the wind.

With a swift motion, the short-raven haired man smashed his leather boot into Eren’s face as a single pearly-white tooth ricocheted through the air, landing several feet away.

 

What the…? 

…

_Balls._

…

It was him. 

Captain Levi.

Had he been behind me all along? 

Not a moment later, Levi’s leg slammed into Eren’s stomach with supernatural speed. I felt my [h/c] hair fly wildly around my face from Levi’s vicious onslaught.

 _He’s using wind powered attacks_ I realized in astonishment. I had never heard of another airbender using wind to strengthen their martial art attacks. No kidding about the "Humanity's strongest" spiel. He _was_ the real deal.

In the two minutes that Levi wrecked Eren, I made three observations:

1\. My savior was fucking sadistic. You’d think he’d hold back a little. Yeah…Nope, nope, nope, nope.

2\. I will never offer my one _actual_ arm ever again to Mikasa for emotional support/physical restraint. I’m pretty sure she’s fractured at least four of my knuckles by now in her iron-hard grip. Good thing I'm a healer right?

3\. Fuck, he was hot. Is that a terrible thing to say while said raven-haired man is whaling on your childhood friend? Probably. 

Good news was after the brutal attack, Erwin Smith made a counter proposal- to place Eren in the Scouts under Captain Levi’s supervision to see if he could learn to control his new powers to which the Judge was quickly persuaded in favor of.

\--  
**Author’s note:**

Not that this really matters, but I wrote a little poem here to dedicate to Marco’s passing. I was initially going to write a funeral scene showing Jean’s change of heart (deciding to join the scouts) and I wanted to include this poem in it somehow, but it just didn’t work out. But, I still kinda like the poem so I thought I’d share it with you guys.  
Inspired from Vogel im Kafig. 

The Twilight Angel  
\--  
  
Through the cloud filled night  
Is that an angel who flew down  
From the twilight sky?

Across the emerald plains  
From which the light of day shines  
So the beauty of this world resides. 

As we walk to the other side  
Of the crimson horizon,  
Peering forward to the distant tomorrow 

Go with firm steps,  
And fly away.  
For every being dies someday  
Whether we are  
or not whether we aren’t  
Death shall come surely  
As friend or foe 

Is that an angel who flew down  
From the twilight sky?  
To save you from the pain  
And take you to fields of green and peace?  
While left behind  
I surely shall weep. 

But we will go on  
And remember you  
as we defy our own fate  
and shall never forget. 

Are you my angel who flew down  
From the twilight sky?  
Only to return to the skies  
From whence you came? 

So I shall wait,  
Till I see you once more  
And together again  
We both shall soar.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think of the series so far- I'd love some feedback! 
> 
> Lastly, Hanji's character will be making an exciting entrance soon (I wouldn't expect anything less from her haha!). But, I haven't decided if she will have a bending power, or if so, what that power would be. Any preferences/recommendations? Just let me know XD!


	9. A Night to Remember

The sun faded behind the Spirit wall Maria, leaving behind a multitude of fading colors spilling over the land as evening began to descend. The 104th corps- or what was left of us I should say- stood firmly at attention before the wooden stage. The air was wrought with tension as the moment at hand came closer and closer- the time where we would decide which corps to dedicate our lives to. 

The fire torches scattered a flickering light throughout the training grounds, reflecting calmly upon our stoic faces. As solemn as the atmosphere was, there was a darkness- an uneasiness that haunted the shadows chased by the torch light as we stood, just waiting, just watching. We still grieved for our fallen comrades- I was still grieving for many of my fallen squad mates, but there was something else afoot tonight. 

One of us was a traitor, of that I was sure. But who? 

I didn’t know. Call it intuition or whatever you want. Something was off in the military.

Several hours earlier, we were informed that the test spirits we captured during the Battle for Trost were killed by someone with 3D-manuever gear. One of our own it seemed. Subsequently, we all had to submit our equipment for inspection of use. Though everyone was thoroughly checked, all cadets passed the inspection. 

Still, I couldn’t quite rid myself of the feeling that the traitor was here among us tonight.  
I shivered as a cold wind blew by me, stripping me of what little warmth my leather jacket held. I stood in line next to Jean with Armin standing somewhere behind me and Mikasa directly in front of me.

Before us stood the commander from Eren’s trial- Erwin Smith. His blond hair was cut in the typical military style and though he wasn’t staring at me directly, it felt like he was scrutinizing me with those crystal blue eyes framed by a pair of rather large eyebrows.

“My name is Erwin Smith, commander of the Scout Regiment.” He began, his voice echoing clearly throughout our ranks.

“Today, as all of you know, is the day that you must choose a Corp to join for the rest of your days in service.”

He paused, scanning the crowd slowly, letting the depth of his words sink in.

“I am here today to invite you to join the Scout Regiment. During our latest Spirit attack, you first-hand discovered the terror of being ruled by them as well as the limitations of your own abilities. However, in this battle alone, we have made incredible leaps towards our victory against the spirits… thanks to the very existence of Eren Jaeger.”

At the mention of Eren, whispers began to break out from the crowd. I could see Mikasa twitch in annoyance as the hand behind her back tightened into a budging fist. I could almost hear the thoughts raging through her head.

“If they so much as leave a scratch on him- I’ll shred them limb from limb with my steel.” I imagined her deadpanning with murderous intent. I smiled at the thought. _Typical Mikasa. Kill first, ask questions later._

“Eren’s dedication to the corps and to human life proves without a doubt, that he is on humanity’s side. With his help, we have not only stopped the invasion, but gained a means to understand the true nature of the spirits!”

Audible gasps were heard throughout our ranks, myself included. I mean, sure, I had a pretty good idea of how important Eren now was, but for Erwin, the commander of the scouts, just to come out and say this- it was astonishing, and mostly in a good way.

“Located in the basement of his home in Shiganshina District,” Erwin continued, his hands firmly grasped behind his back, “we believe there is a secret about the spirits that even he is unaware of at the moment. If we can reach his basement, we may be able to break free from a century of Spirit domination!”

“We’re already that close?!” someone near me exclaimed.

I frowned. Why would they make all of that information public? Shouldn’t that be kept top secret? Something was off about this, but I couldn’t quite put my hand, or should I say, water on it. 

“Our plan is simple, to set out for this basement located in the Shiganshina District. But to do so, we will need to reclaim Spirit Wall Maria will all the help we can muster from both benders…and non-benders alike. Both are crucial for our plan to succeed.”

Erwin smith then proceeded to speak about the logistics of the mission, including the life expectancy of us who planned to join the survey corps.

“What a charmer,” I muttered under my breath. 

He could have left the death statistics out of his speech. At least he’s honest, if rather blunt.  
My mind was already set though, as it had been from the moment I joined the military- I was going to become a Scout.

Part of the reason was because of Eren. With his new found spirit powers, I believed we could actually change the world, now more than ever. 

Part of it was for my friends Mikasa and Armin, and our shared dream of ending the spirit’s dominion. 

Part of it was for myself, to face my fears and make a difference in this world. 

Lastly, I owed an unpayable debt to Captain Levi, one of the most distinguished members of the Scouts corp, who saved my life five years ago to date. 

I looked downwards at my clenched leather gloved hand. It’s true- I’m not the strongest fighter here or even the one with the most courage (though I might be the best waterbender in our corp). Nonetheless, I still believed that I could change the world for the better- like when I treated Anthony’s leg after he fell from the spirit wall or when I rescued Armin in the face of the Spirits.

 _For a chance at humanity’s victory, I, [F/N] [L/N] shall henceforth dedicate my life in its entirety to the Scouts corp._ I vowed silently to myself.

At the end of Erwin’s speech, many of the cadets turned and left, leaving behind Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Ymir, Christa, Sasha, Reiner, Bertolt, and myself to face the uncertain future in the Scouts corp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my awesome readers:
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading- I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have writing it! Also, thank you guys so much for your wonderful and supportive comments- they always makes me smile (with some additional tearbending on my part).
> 
> As a side note, I'll be posting the next chapter this weekend so stay tuned! 
> 
> With much happiness and love for all of ya'll,  
> firexice


	10. Kill it with Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I said I was going to publish this chapter this weekend but then I just got so excited about it that I decided to post it early! Yay!
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing this chapter so I really hope you guys enjoy it. Also, can I just say I'm super excited that Levi (my fav <3) is finally here (like really in the story, not just in a past reflection or brief passing)?! 
> 
> Let's be honest, we could all use a little more Levi in our lives [insert fangirling screams here] hehe! Let the story commence!

At 0800 the next day, the new Scouts members, including myself received our first set of orders. We were to travel to the remote castle (which was currently being used as their home base) where we would meet up with our fellows soldiers and commanding officers.

As soon as we arrived, we were put to work. And no, I don’t mean training, like as in bending-practice or 3-D maneuver drills. We were assigned to clean the entire castle from top to bottom, inside and outside.  
Oh, did I mention this castle had been abandoned for well over 50 years? And that it was fucking filthy? I didn’t? Well, now I did.

Dust everywhere you looked- unmentionable creatures skittering across the floor- extremely questionable scents drifting in from the kitchen and dining room areas- It was a bloody nightmare (quite literally in some places might I add).

Being the ever so _useful_ waterbender I am, I was assigned to clean the top most floors of the castle with Jean as my cleaning partner. 

I sighed as I entered into our first room, equip with a bucket of cold soapy water at my disposal and a large towel hanging off of my shoulder. Jean stood beside me, holding a single feather duster in hand with a few tan towels wrapped around his neck.

The smell that filled the room was an odd combination of rotten cheese, decaying animal flesh, and vomit.

Jean covered his nose at the olfactory onslaught as I barely managed to control my gag reflex, staggering backwards away from the stench. In the darkness of the room, I couldn’t see where the smell was coming from, and to be honest, I really didn’t want to know.

Jean quickly lite up a fire flare in the palm of his hand in the disorientating darkness. The new-found light revealed a boarded window which I rushed towards and ripped open with my water arm, inhaling deeply as fresh air began to permeate the room, lessening the putrid stench. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Jean groaned, “We have to clean this _shit_?” 

“What are you talking ab-“ I replied, turning towards him, before stopping in my tracks.

On the left most wall, a colony, no a global array of slime and mold was growing on the stone brick wall. 

Fuck.

... 

….......

... 

No seriously, fuck that shit. I’m done here.

“Kill it.” I told Jean, walking several paces backwards from the monstrosity, “Kill it with fire.”

Jean grunted in response as brought his hands together, palms facing forwards as he unleashed a large torrent of orange flames. As the fire collided with the wall, I could hear the sputtering sounds of the infestation being singed. What I didn’t expect was the large cloud of black smoke that emerged from the slime.

“Jean! That’s *cough* enough! I can’t see!” I choked out as the black smoke that now filled the room made my vision blurry.

The flames stopped as Jean, wherever he was now, began coughing from the smoke.

“Shit! How the hell does mold make so much smoke!!” Jean yelled.

“I don’t know! But I can’t see a fucking thing!” I waved my arms frantically in front of my face, trying to clear the air.

“This is your fucking fault [F/N]!”

“My fault?!” I cried indignantly.

“Kill it with fucking fire she said! Great idea [F/N]!” 

“It was a fucking figure of speech Jean! I didn’t think you’d actually light up the bloody place!”

Before our argument could escalate, a powerful stream of air blew through the room, sending the black smoke spiraling out of the wood framed window.

I gasped in relief as the air cleared, my lungs ecstatic at the now smokeless room.

“Whew!” I sighed, “That was a close one! Thanks!“

I turned towards the now visible doorway to see the person who had just saved both our asses, my breath hitched in my throat. I paled instantly at the angry steel colored pair of eyes that clashed with my [E/C] ones.

His face was death- with eyes glinting red in the streaming window light and a pissed off expression distorting his otherwise extremely attractive features. Levi was wearing his usual military outfit- white pants laced with the leather straps of the 3-D maneuver gear. Without the top brown leather jacket, his grey skin-tight undershirt shirt was exposed. I couldn’t help but notice the sexy way his shirt clung tightly to his slender, but well developed figure. He also had his hair pulled back with a white bandana and another white cloth tied around his neck. 

“Captain L-levi!” Jean and I both stuttered, saluting him.

The Captain turned his vicious gaze from me towards the now charcoal black wall that Jean had incinerated.

In a perilously low voice, Levi began, “Would someone like to tell me why they thought it was a good idea to fucking burn the wall? I was personally under the impression that cadets were supposed to be cleaning the rooms, not FUCKING burning down the FUCKING castle.”

“It was my fau-“ Jean began before I cut him off.

“It was my idea Captain,” I spoke, surprised my voice wasn’t shaking from the terror within me, “There was a mold infestation and I just figured it would be best to just…you know…” 

_Kill it with fire…_

Levi’s hard gaze fell back on to my face. I looked downwards, unable to meet his angry stare.

“And it didn’t occur to you to just soak the wall in a 3% bleach solution for ten minutes to kill the mold without destroying the wall?” Levi questioned, walking forward towards the wall to inspect the damage. 

“…No sir.” I whispered meekly. 

I heard Levi sigh exasperatedly. 

“Well, in that case-“ Levi began.

“Heichou!” A feminine voice called from the hallway, “Heichou! Where are you?”

I looked upwards to see a small peppy young woman with straight strawberry-blond hair entering the room.

“Heichou, I’ve finished cleaning the-“ She paused upon seeing the blackened cobblestone wall, frowning in confusion, “What happened here?”

“These two new recruits decided to-“

“Oh! New recruits?! Welcome to the Scouts!” Her eyes suddenly brightened.

Levi groaned in annoyance, pinching the bridge of his nose as he leaned against the non-singed wall.

“Hi…” Jean and I responded nervously, unsure what was coming next.

The girl offered her hand to Jean, who shook it gently, introducing himself. Grinning, she walked over towards me, her right arm outstretched.

“The name’s Petra Ral- I’m part of Heichou’s special squad here.” 

“[F/N] [L/N]… um…water bender and healer I guess.” I smiled back at her gentle enthusiasm. 

As I shook her hand, her eyes widened in shock.

“Your arm!” She gasped in astonishment, staring intently at the leather glove.

_Shit! She must be a waterbender if she can sense it!_

“What are you talking about?” I laughed defensively, pulling back my arm from her grip. I gave her a pleading look as Captain Levi looked sharply at me while Jean gave me a questioning look from the sidelines, unsure as to what had happened in our brief exchange.

“Is there something going on here?” Levi asked, eyebrows raised.

“Ah, no Captain, nothing at all!” Petra covered quickly, her voice going up an octave. 

_Well, wasn’t that subtle._ I groaned inwardly. 

He gave Petra a suspicious look, his eyes shining with skepticism, before facing me.

I flinched as I felt a faint blush spreading up my cheeks. 

_Would he recognize me after all this time? Part of me wanted him to know so that I could finally tell him ‘Thank you.’ I wondered if he would even remember me in all of the chaos as the third spirit wall collapsed and the Avatar died. But there was another part of me that wasn’t ready for him to know just yet. I don’t even know why I felt that way, but I did._

For a moment, I thought he was going to do something that would make me reveal my secret. 

“Whatever,” he replied, his voice clearly irritated, “But enough with the introductions. Cadets, this room is still fucking filthy, especially that shitty burnt wall. I expect it to thoroughly cleaned by the time I return. Am I clear?”

“Yes sir!” Jean and I responded, saluting.

“Petra, can you help these two idiots? They obviously need to know the standards around here.” 

“Of course sir.” Petra smiled, seemingly oblivious of Levi’s foul mood.

Levi nodded sharply as he exited the room, the sound of his black boots on stone fading away with each passing step.

Inhaling deeply, Petra began, “Sorry about that, Captain gets a little bit cranky when places aren’t as clean as he would like.”

She scratched the back of her head while smiling nervously.

“So, what happened here again?” Petra continued, gesturing at the wall.

I quickly explained the situation to her.

“I see,” she murmured, looking at the wall with heightened interest.

“Jean was it?” She turned towards my firebending companion. 

“Yes ma’am!” He saluted.

“Relax, I don’t bite- I promise!” Petra chuckled at Jean’s formalities, “Could you please fetch me two more water-filled cleaning buckets? Preferably with some bleach in them? We are going to need more than one bucket to clean up this mess.”

“Right away ma’am!”

As Jean left, the room entered an awkward silence. 

Unable to bear the stagnate atmosphere, I decided to just come clean to her.

“Thanks for covering for me…I just…um…haven’t really told anyone about my arm, or rather, lack thereof.” I started awkwardly, unsure of what to say.

“No problem. Sorry I almost blurted ‘that’ out in front of people. Still, I have to say, I’m rather impressed you are able to do that. Not many water benders have the control to form a consistent solid form like that.”  
She exclaimed, gesturing down towards it, “How’s the fine motor control?”

“Pretty good,” I grinned. Petra had a calming way about speaking that made me feel I could really trust her as a human being- an impression I rarely got other people. 

I wiggled my water fingers around effortlessly for her, perfectly imitating the normal motions of a hand.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did that happen?” 

Typically, I hated questions like this, but for some reason, coming from her, I didn’t mind. Maybe it was because she didn’t act like she pitied me. 

“A spirit bit it off of me when I was ten. I’ve made do with this ever since.” I held my arm out in front of me, flexing it in various ways, as if testing it out for the first time.

She frowned, “That must have hurt.”

“I guess, I don’t really remember the pain though.” I shrugged.

“Can I-um- see it?” She asked nervously, “If you don’t want to, I totally understand. I’m just am really curious, being a water bender myself.  
I paused. Should I show her? 

_Why not? I think this could be the beginning of a good friendship._

To be honest, I really didn’t have many close friends save for Mikasa, Armin and Eren. I might even include Annie and Jean in that category now that I think about it… 

“Sure,” I responded.

With my left arm, I grabbed the top of my leather glove and pulled downward, exposing the long tendril of water I kept below its surface.

Petra eyes widened as she whispered, “…That’s frickin’ awesome.”

I giggled in response. 

“Wanna see the scar? It’s pretty sick.” 

“As if that’s even a question!”

_Yep, I definitely liked her._

Disconnecting the water from my arm, I iced the water midair in order to pull up my now sagging grey undershirt, exposing the large white scaring on my shoulder joint.

Petra’s honey-brown eyes widened in excitement as she examined my scar a few moments before pulling back. 

“So now I have to ask,” Petra said, “Why do you keep hiding it? It’s really cool!”

“I don’t really know,” I replied thoughtfully, reattaching the water arm with my mental will, enjoying the familiar feeling of the liquid on my shoulder, “I suppose it because I don’t want people to treat me differently if they knew the truth.”

“Here in the scouts, I think you’ll find that were very accepting of each other differences in both our strengths and weaknesses. And frankly my dear, I think it looks pretty bad ass.” Petra smiled gently as she placed a hand on my right shoulder.

Suddenly, a startled yell filled the room. I whipped around and saw…

_To be continued…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH!! Cliffhangers!! Who do you think saw your waterbending arm XD haha!? 
> 
> Again, hoped you enjoyed reading it! If you like it, feel free to tell me your thoughts on it in a comment or just leave a kudos! 
> 
> As always, I hope you have a most wonderful day! 
> 
> Also, I'll probably post the next chapter in a week or two.


	11. Bitter Work and Old Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect this chapter to be finished this week, especially since I published two chapters last week, but, I finished it so here it is :).
> 
> As usual, un-beta-ed.
> 
> Also, FYI, I had someone ask me what [F/N] [L/N] mean. Just for clarification, it stands for [First Name], [Last Name], so essentially, it's your name. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Suddenly, a startled yell filled the room. I whipped around and saw Jean standing there paralyzed as both of his water-filled buckets dropped on the ground, spilling the soapy water around the room. His mouth opened in a wide "O" as he stared at my water arm. It would have been almost comical had it not been for the strangled sounds of horror and disgust that followed from his gaping mouth. 

“What the fuck?!” He shrieked, his voice cracking wildly as he pointed towards me, “What the hell happened to your arm?!”

I rolled my eyes in mock exasperation.

“Point and case Petra. Point and case.” I grumbled towards a sheepish looking Petra. 

_See, this is why I wear the leather glove, to avoid dealing with reactions like this._ I reminded myself indignantly. 

Of all the people that _had_ to walk in on me- really? It had to be Horseface? Not Mikasa or Armin who already knew about my “condition”? 

Jean continued to stare at me in shock, standing so still it was as if I had frozen him solid from the inside out.

“Pull yourself together Jean,” I snapped, clearly irritated, “First off, really? Is the staring really necessary? It’s not that fucking bad.”

“But your arm…where the hell did your arm go?” Jean asked, his jaw clenched tightly in shock.

“I never had an arm, or at least since five years ago. The ‘arm’ you thought you saw was just this,” I waved the water to make my point, “underneath my glove.” 

“So…..you don’t…have an arm?” Jean inquired softly, his brows knitted together in concentration like he couldn’t quite wrap his finger around the situation.

_Captain obvious strikes again._

At that point, I didn’t have anything further to add, and quite frankly, I wasn’t so sure I would be able to concoct a civil response if I did choose to reply. The way I had it figured, I had three options to consider:

One, answer his redundant questions sarcastically with my sharp-edged tongue and face another verbal conflict. Yay. Two, lecture him on the meaning of “being sensitive” to others. Let him wallow in guilt and sorrow for all the trouble he’d caused me. Three, stare him the fuck down and shut him the fuck up. 

Option 3 it is.

I glared at him with god knows what expression I had on my face in complete and utter silence. Jean seemed to sober up instantly at my reaction.

The spilled water was now beginning to spread dangerously close to my new leather boots. Sighing, I shot out my water arm towards the fallen buckets, picking them up effortlessly and causing Jean to visibly flinch. Simultaneously, I extended my mental consciousness towards the spilled water, bending it back effortlessly into the now-upright buckets.

Jean's face softened as I cleaned up _his_ shitty mess. I hoped Captain Levi wouldn’t walk in anytime soon- I doubt he’d let Jean and I off as easily the next time we messed up. 

With the water now gone from the floor, I quickly gloved my water-arm to prevent any other unfortunate "Jean-like" situations from happening.

“Jeez,” Jean exhaled, looking rather embarrassed, “Sorry I flipped out like that. I had no idea you didn’t…um…”

I ignored Jean completely, instead directing my attention towards Petra.

With a smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes I said, “I think we can take the cleaning from here ma’am.”

She nodded with a sad smile. Wordlessly, she left the room, leaving Jean and I alone once more.

Jean and I stood unmoving in the singed room, unsure of what to say or what to do. 

I might have looked calm on the surface, but I felt like a wreck underneath my mask of serenity. My blood was boiling with irritation at Jean’s ill-tempered reaction. Not everyone would be so accepting of my arm like Petra was and Jean’s reaction had given me a glimpse of what to expect if anyone else found out. 

I needed a distraction from this- from the steaming frustration building within my core. My eyes caught sight of the metal buckets standing upright by Jean’s feet.

It was cleaning time. 

I bent the entire contents from both pails of water into a large sphere before me, frowning upon sensing the cold temperature of the liquid. Looks like it was time to heat things up.   
Under my mental command, the water began to boil instantaneously. Steam rippled across the top of the orb I controlled before me. I wasn’t sure this would be enough to extract the burnt infestation on the wall, but I was going to give it a shot anyway.

“What are you planning on doing with that?” Jean asked nervously.

“You’ll see.”

I turned towards the blackened wall, ignoring the stuttering reactions from Kirstein. Reaching out both of my hands, I spun the water rapidly into a vortex before me. As soon as the soapy liquid reached a vicious speed, I slammed the orb against the wall with a grinding force. Instantly, the water blackened as the charred mold began to fall off. I moved the spinning water slowly across the wall- smiling as I saw clean stone appear behind the streak of moving ebony water. 

I was a lean, mean, mold-cleaning machine- and nothing was going to get in my way! 

\--

“Well, that was quicker than expected.” Jean reported, examining the now pristine room. Thanks to my bending, the wall was cleared of all fungi and ash. I swore I could see the cobblestone wall sparkling in the streaming sunlight that filled the room. 

“No thanks to you.” I sniffed, checking the room one last time for anything I might have missed. 

“What was I supposed to do once you started bending the water _everywhere_? It’s not like I could have helped you out there. I’m only good for burning up shit apparently.”

“True story bro. You could have at least done _something_ other than just standing there and watching though.” 

“Bitch, please, it’s a hard enough job just to stand here and look as _fabulous_ as I do without cleaning.” Jean quipped, placing his arms around his body and jutting out one hip in a failed seductive manner. 

“Fuck off Jean,” I managed to choke out between giggles at his ridiculous pose. 

Still posing, Jean said, “Ah, there’s that smile.” 

“I’m only smiling ‘cause you are such a dork.” I smirked, still chuckling. Venting off my anger with cleaning did make me feel better after all. Not enough to completely forget my irritation at Jean, but enough for me to really clear my head before I said something I would regret. I might complain about Jean a lot, but frankly, I liked him as a person, asshole-ness and all.

“It’s the least I can do.” Jean paused, suddenly looking nervous, “Look, [F/N], I didn’t mean to react like, well, like a total horse’s ass about your arm. I just was really shocked, you know?” 

He scratched his head nervously, sending his sandy blond hair into disarray. “It’s actually kinda cool.”

“Thanks I guess. Just try to keep it on the down low please. I don’t need to surprise anymore people for a while- at least for not for today.” I grinned.

Jean nodded, “Course’.”

“Well,” I said, “I guess we better report our cleaning success to the Captain. Shall we find him?”

I turned away from Jean and began to walk out of the room.

Without missing a beat, Jean said, “I loved him you know.” 

I blinked. What? What on earth was he talking about? 

“I uh…loved Marco I mean.” Jean repeated, averting his gaze, “I guess...uhm... I just mean- I just figured I’d tell you, since, you know, I know your arm secret... yeah, and I think it’s only fair you knew mine.”

“You mean...like-like? As in…you…and him?” 

“Uh...yeah.” Jean said, his voice dipping unusually low, “I finally managed to confess to him the night before…well…”

_The spirit attack on Trost_.

“Jean…I…” I stuttered, lost as what to respond with. As much as I appreciated the heart-to-heart- I had no idea where the hell this all was coming from.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to say you’re sorry or anything like that. I guess...I uh... I just wanted to tell someone, anyone really, to help me get it off my chest.” 

Suddenly, Jean’s sandy brown eyes began to fill with moisture.

“Shit!” Jean hissed, his voice cracking up at the end of his curse.

Jean quickly brought his hands up towards his long face as the watery lines descended down towards his jaw. “I thought I was stronger than this. But I’m…not. Fuck!!”

Jean burst into another round of full-fledged sobs as I stood frozen, seeing for the second time a true glimpse into Jean’s world. I always knew he and Marco were really close, but I never imagined- no scratch that- the signs were there alright, I was just too blind to see it before. Not that I minded it- not in the slightest. 

“You don’t have to be strong ya know?” I told Jean as I wrapped my arms around his tall waist, rubbing small comforting circles into the small of his back, “You just have to keep going... keeping moving. …I guess…I…uhh….yeah- you know…. feelings ….ummm….” 

“Your _really shitty_ at comforting others, you know that [F/N]? Especially considering you’re a healer. ” Jean choked out a strangled laugh despite the tears moving freely across his face.

“It’s because I only have one arm to hug people with. Being armless does have that effect on people.” I offered back wryly. 

Jean snorted and hugged me tightly.

“Thanks anyway you little cripple.”

“Right back at ‘cha fuck face.” 

“Ahem.” A third voice appeared in the midst of our embrace.

_Crap_! 

I quickly disengaged myself from Jean’s arms only to find myself staring into the strict silver eyes of Captain Levi. I felt Jean stiffen next to me as he quickly wiped his reddened eyes to his chagrin.

“Burning shit and slacking off are we you little shits?” Levi rumbled, his left foot tapping the stone flooring with apparent displeasure. 

“We weren’t slacking off sir, we were just, um…” I wracked my brain to come up with a plausible explanation, spitting out the first thing that came to mind, “Celebrating cleaning sir!”

_Fuck my life_. That was possibly the dumbest thing I could have said. No, scratch that, that **was** the dumbest thing I could have said.

Levi apparently agreed with my belated observation, his face now radiating with annoyance accompanied by a tinge of exasperation.

“You were just…celebrating ...cleaning.” He drawled, crossing his arms across his chest. His metallic eyes bore into me with such intensity that I was afraid I would be unable to reply from sheer terror. 

“Sir, it was a miracle we were able to get off the charred shit-I mean stuff- off of the wall. We were just so happy that Jean started crying from sheer joy and then- well- yeah…emotions. Sir, I’m just going to stop now because I’m a terrible liar, and I think we both know that....but, we were just about to report that our room is clean and ready for your inspection sir....and....that's pretty much it...“

After a few nerve-wracking seconds that felt more like hours, the captain finally reacted, dropping his expressionless mask and snorting with amusement. The raven haired man quickly covered his face as he turned away from me to look at the now sparkling clean wall. I promptly noticed the rapid shaking motion coming from his shoulders as he continued to face away from me. 

I blushed as his strange reaction clicked in my head. He was laughing at me!

Spirits, I was ridiculous. 

_Congratulations [F/N], you’ve just managed to make a complete fool out of yourself in front of the man you respect most, without whom, you would have been consumed by Spirits *insert slow clap here*. Great job!_

__Just as quickly as apparent laugher began, it ended. Captain Levi turned back towards us, his face assuming its previous deadpanning expression._ _

__“Tch, the room’s not too _shitty_ I guess.” _ _

__I stole a glance at Jean in confusion. Does that mean the room passes inspection?_ _

__I guess it did, because not one minute later, Jean and I found ourselves facing the doorway of yet another questionable room._ _

___Jean opened the iron-handle door and I nervously peered inside._  
...  
Oh.  
My.  
Spirits.  
...  
Whatever we had faced in the last room, multiply that by 100, add in a cockroach infestation and boom, you have our next cleaning assignment. 

__“Hey Jean.” I croaked, backing away from the door._ _

__“Hm?”_ _

__“Remember how I cleaned the last room.”_ _

__“Yeah?”_ _

__“You’re on your own for this one.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, this chapter happened- mainly just a lot of fluff, some teenager angst, and attempts at humor and yeah... Still, I hope you guys enjoyed reading it! 
> 
> But rest assured- I have exciting plans for the next chapter (hehe)! I’ll even give you guys a hint- It involves a crap ton of bending action and some eelhounds! 
> 
> Hope you have a most wonderful day! If you like it, feel free to leave me a kudos or a comment and tell me what you think of the series so far! 
> 
> I'll also be posting within the next two weeks so stay tuned!


	12. The Female Spirit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys! I'm sooo sorry this chapter was so delayed. I FINALLY finished moving in to my new place in OK (WOOT WOOT!) and finished my job training. With out any more delays, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!
> 
> As always, not-betaed, so let me know if any mistakes catch your eye and I will get on that super quick :)

The Long-field scouting formation that Erwin developed was one of the most brilliant plans I had ever seen. Our formation was spread out in a wide formation consisting of over fifty different squads. Over such a large terrain, Erwin had devised a clever way to use flare guns that shot different colored flares for communication between squads. To my surprise, we actually used this communication to avoid fighting (completely contrary to what I first though when I joined the Survey corps) the spirits and lessen losses, only engaging with abnormal spirits.

On the outskirts of our formation were the air benders, easily the most natural scouts in the regiment. They flew above us on gliders and provided an early notice on any approaching Spirits.

As a healer, I was to circulate between three different squads, 21, 22, and 23. Ideally, each squad would have had its own personal healer. At the moment though, we were short on supply since the most recent spirit attack. 

Right now, were about 15 miles into spirit territory. I glanced backwards. The wall Sina had now completely disappeared from my view. It was a strange feeling- the insecurity of being protected by a wall was fully gone. I felt raw- exposed in the vast meadow of green hilly terrain sparsely decorated with trees. Here, I would be reliant on my eel hound, my quick thinking, limited 3-D maneuver abilities, and bending. A less than optimal situation I noted with a frown.

Currently, I was in squad 21, at the rear right flank separated from the uncombed spirit territory by one layer of scouts.

Beside me rode Armin, Jean, Reiner, and two other older soldiers (Ethan and Ed), Ed being our squad commander. I stole a glance at Armin, who was peering off into the distance, his eyes narrowed as the air whipped by him. 

Thud. Thud. Thud. 

The ground began to quake in a rhythmic drumming, the sound increasing in volume as we rode on. 

I gasped as I saw a 9-meter Spirit running towards our squad. 

“Spirit at 5:00!”

I clenched my blades tightly, relishing the feeling of smooth cold metal between my fingers, ready to strike out a moment’s notice. 

I could hear the voice of our commander from the scout’s training echoing in my ear.

_“Remember, outside the wall, you run, don’t fight. Outrun it and stay alive. Fighting will, 95% of the time, get you killed. If nothing else, remember this; Fighting is always last resort.”_

_Armin of course, raised his hand, clearly a question running through his mind._

_“What if an abnormal appears and breaks the formation? What should we do then?”_

_“In the unlikely event that does occur, you then have permission to engage with the spirit, lest it destroy the formation.”_

“Bank right!” Ed, our superior officer commanded as we collided with the spirit, “Draw the spirit away from the center!”

 

“Yes sir!” I yelled back, tugging the reins of my racing eel hound right.

With a yelp, the eel hound sided towards the sun.

But the spirit didn’t follow us like it was supposed to have in our training. Ignoring us, the spirit ran past us towards the center of the formation.

“Shit! It’s an abnormal!” I screamed towards my squad mate, “Jean shoot the-“

“On it!” Jean bellowed, cocking his gun and shooting a black flare into the clear sky.

“Commander, what’s the plan?” I said, pulling up my eel hound level with Ed and his fellow scout, Ethan.

“Just leave it to us! You rookies just stay back and watch!”

Just take away all the fun why don’t you. I grumbled inwardly, reluctantly slowing pace till I leveled off with Jean, Armin and Reiner.

Wordlessly, the two scouts speed up towards the spirit. Ethan launched himself towards the spirits feet. In a fluid motion, his blades cleaved the spirit’s Achilles tendon, causing the Spirit to crumple towards the ground. At the same time, Ed’s wires connected with the spirits neck, cleaving flesh from the nape of its neck, ended it.

Without further inspection of the Spirit, Ed and Ethan remounted their eel hounds and quickly caught up to us.

“What the hell is the right flank doing letting all of the spirits in this far?” I asked Armin in disbelief as we passed by the steaming remains of the abnormal spirit our commanding officers had just slayed.

“I’m not sure myself,” Armin frowned, his blond brow twitching downwards in disapproval, “I wonder if something bad happened to them.”

“Yeah! We haven’t been seeing any flares from them in a while so I guess it possible.” Jean grunted, “And to think all of this is because of the little twerp in the left flank.”

“Who are you even talking about Jean? What ‘twerp’ in the left flank?” I asked, unsure who he was talking about.

Jean rolled his eyes in exasperation, “I’m talking about Eren stupid! Who else would I be talking about? He’s the reason we’re even going on this mission!”

“Look’s like someone didn’t study their formation map.” I snapped back, “My map _clearly_ said Eren was in the right rear flank, not the left flank dipshit.”

“Well mine said Eren was in the front flank with commander Erwin.” Reiner interjected in his deep base voice.

For a moment, we were all silent, the impact of our new found knowledge sinking in.

After a few seconds, Armin began, “It makes sense then, they suspect a traitor is among us. Of course they wouldn’t tell us where he is.”

We visibly paled at the thought. To think that there was a traitor within our midst even now- it made my blood boil with fury.

Who the hell would even want to aid the spirits? 

The mere thought of it caused me to clench my grip on the leather tanned reins of my eelhound. 

“So, if Eren isn’t in the rear right flank, then where is he?” I asked, directing my attention at Armin. If anyone could figure it out, it was Armin, hands down with his astonishing aptitude in class.

“Well, with Eren,” Armin started, his blond eyebrows crinkling with purpose, “they would definitely put him in the safest part of the formation which means… in the center rear, just before the carts- it’s the safest location in the entire formation.”

“Makes sense.” Reiner said stoic as always. Jean and I nodded our heads in agreement.

“Spirit sighted! Same direction as the last one!” Our commanding officer yelled.

_Unbelievable! This is ridiculous! What the fuck was the right flank even doing?_

I paused. 

_Shit. They’re in trouble aren’t they? That’s the only reason why the spirits have been getting in. And another abnormal one at that._

My pulse began to increase as the Titan headed directly towards us. 

_Were those…boobs…?_

Holy shit. The spirit had boobs. 

_A female spirit? I thought they were only males. Unless…_

My train of thought drifted off as an unsettling idea drifted into my head. What if this was no ordinary spirit? Would it be possible for another spirit to be like…well…Eren? And a girl at that?

“We’ll take care of it! You rookies stay go on ahead!” Our commander yelled. 

Just the same as last time the two launched themselves towards the advancing spirit. 

“Wait sir! You don’t know what you’re up against!” I screamed urgently, kicking my eelhound into gear and sprinting after the departing commanders.

“Stand back rookie! That’s an order!”

“But she’s a-“

My voice was cut off as my eel hound stumbled on a rock, causing my saddle to slam upwards unto my stomach, knocking the wind out of me. My eyes watered at the sudden pain of it all as I struggled to scream out a warning.

As the two men connected their metal cords with her neck, her hand quickly snatched backwards at her neck, viciously grabbing at the cord that impaled her neck.

In a violent motion she jerked the metal cable towards the ground, sending our commander smashing into the ground. I looked on in horror as his body lifelessly tumbled across the dirt, rolling about ten feet before stopping facedown in the muddy field.

“You _BITCH_!” The remaining officer screamed, spinning around his body towards her face in a desperate attempt to cut off her vision. 

I looked away as the sickening crunch of bones grinding sound filled the air and the sky rained blood from his crushed body. 

No, not this again. The bloodied half eaten remains of my parents and sister floated up into my mind as the ground around me splattered with the warm blood running red.

I shook my head as I regained my breath, gasping heavily at the physical and mental pain.

“Holy shit!” Jean screamed as the female spirit began charging towards us.

“We’ve…gotta do… something,” I wheezed, my lungs recovering from the wind being knocked out of me, “Jean! Kill it with fire!”

Despite the blood shed (quite literally), I saw Jean’s lip twitch upward.

Jean hopped atop his eelhound and spun around, balancing precariously on the swaying brown saddle as he unleashed a giant torrent of flame towards the spirit’s face. A giant wave of steam washed out from the spirit’s body and solidified in front of the spirit as an ice shield.

Fuck, she can bend water. 

After 10 seconds of his intense flames, Jean stopped the flow. As the flames dissipated, the black smoke revealed a magnificent water shield that the spirit had summoned to stay the flame.

“What the hell-,“ Jean started just as his voice abrupt halted. His eyes budged from their sockets as his body was jerked upwards from his saddle and suspended in midair. I glanced towards Armin and Reiner who were similarly lurched upwards, their limbs contorting unnaturally in the sky.

My vision blurred as my body was moved beyond my control into the summer heavens. It was a sensation of pain and rippling agony, the feeling of my blood churning forcefully through my veins as I was lifted upwards towards the female spirits’ face. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes from the pain. 

She was bending…my blood. 

_Blood bending…so it was possible after all._

The spirit brought my body to a standstill just before her face. The first thing I noticed were her eyes, crystal blue and full of vitality. She blew a puff of at my face, sending my green hood flying back. Oddly enough, her face softened as she examined my face with her piercing blue eyes. Was that a glimmer of recognition I saw? Why was she looking at me that way, as if she knew me?

I began to hyperventilate as the blood in my body remained stagnant. 

_Shit, shit! Calm down [F/N], relax. Hyperventilation will only make the oxygen deficit worse._

I stopped breathing and extended the will of my mind all around me. If this spirit could blood bend me, then perhaps I can bloodbend myself and break free of her grip. 

It was act or die. 

Summoning my will, I pushed against her iron hard grip on my body. The resulting effort allowed from a little stream of my blood to begin circulating, restoring a fraction of my strength.

The spirit frowned and her control of me increased 10-fold.

I screamed in agony as she jerked my blood violently in response.

“You fucking bitch!” I yelled. 

Oh, I was sooooo PISSED. 

So I couldn’t break her blood bending grip in my weakened state- that much was clear, but there was one more thing I could do.

 

 _Sometimes the best defense, is offense._

 

I focused on the small collection of water flowing through the nape of the spirit’s neck. As my vision began fading grey, I summoned the last of my strength and pulled at the water within her.

Instantly, the hold on me vanished as the female spirit clamped the back of her hand on the nape of her neck, her lips pointed downwards in a sinister scowl.

She instantly released her grip on me and I slammed into the ground, groaning as I landed onto my left arm, instantly dislocating my arm from its socket with a loud pop.

My head slammed against the ground with a heavy smack and just as quick, everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Again, sorry, not sorry about the cliffhanger (and the terrible rhyme at the end). Also, not going to lie, I'm super excited about finally adding in blood bending to the series! Again, thanks soooo much for waiting for however long it took me to publish this chapter! Have a most beautiful day!


	13. The Spirit World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this chapter is super short, but I'm adding the next chapter (which is much longer) today as well. Enjoy!

_“[F/N], wake up.” A gentle voice called out to me, caressing me as I roused from my slumber._

_The ground beneath me was warm and soft- incandescently inviting. I didn’t want to wake up, so I remained there, curled up, enjoying the peaceful calm that surrounded me. I inhaled deeply, the scent of leaves and earth was a joyous relief to the metallic scent of blood that seemed to follow me everywhere._

_“Wake up! Time is precious and your time here is almost up! Wake up [F/N]!” The feminine voice commanded, this time more urgently._

_My eyes wobbled open as green beams of tree-filtered sunlight entered my eyes. I blinked once. Twice. Somehow, I was laying in the middle of the forest, surrounded by a canopy gigantic vine-riddled trees._

_I propped myself up with my right hand to examine the jungle, flinching as I looked towards my arm that was in fact, flesh, not water._

_“What the…” I was stunned. I flexed my arm experimentally before me, rolling my fingers inwards, pressing my chalk white finger nails into the palm of my hand._

_“I don’t understand.” I whispered to myself. Was I dead? Oh my gosh, I must be dead. Is this … heaven? A giant forest?_

_Well, I guess it’s ok. Maybe a 6.9 out of 10?_

_“You are far from being dead human,” the voice chuckled from a distance, “for you are in the Spirit World now. But please, save your questions for later, there is something we must discuss before you return to the human world.”_

_The spirit world… that means…_

_I froze- I was deep within enemy territory. I quickly jumped to attention, reaching automatically towards my swords for defense. My hands were met with wisps of air as I grabbed at where my handles would have been._

_Shit! I don’t have any of my weapons here!_

_“Show yourself spirit and I will cut you down myself!” I snarled, reaching mentally towards the nearby stream for protection._

_The stream remained mute towards my summons as I look angrily towards it, frustrated by my inability to bend the water._

_The spirit snickered briefly, saying, “You can’t bend in the Spirit world little one. **Everyone** knows that. That’s not the way of things here. Besides, I don’t need to show my face to give you a message now do I?”_

_“Then why are you here? Especially considering all of the things Spirits have done to me?”_

_“I’m here to help you believe it or not. I come bearing a message from Spirit of Light, the Avatar Spirit.”_

_“The…Avatar spirit? But the Avatar is dead!”_

_“Just because the flesh is consumed does not mean the spirit is destroyed. Without darkness, there can be no light, and without light, there cannot be darkness. As such, the Avatar Spirit can be reborn from the darkness, but alas, I digress.”_

_Just what I need, some philosophical bullshit. Lovely._

_“The message is this:  
The disorder of in your world is not what it seems. The answers you and your friends seek lies in the two poles of creation, where the five elements were birthed and where the five elements shall serve as the key to the doorway beyond from which the spirit of light can be re-conceived.” _

_“Great, **thanks**. That made sooo much sense.” I replied sarcastically, “I’ll keep that in mind when we find go to Eren’s basement.”_

_“Your sarcasm does not come unnoticed my child, but I will also tell you this; the beginning of your journey starts in your friend’s basement. But do not forget that which I have told you. Now I must return you to the human world from whence you came.”_

_As my vision once again faded into darkness, I thought I heard Marco’s voice whisper,_

_Do try to remember who the real enemy is…_

_To be continued..._


	14. The Runaway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What have I done? Oh my… This chapter made me incredibly sad, not going to lie (the next one will also be sad, but not quite so bad I think) T-T. I always hate writing angsty things because in the AOT series, there’s already plenty of angst there, yet here I am, angsting again. Please don’t hate me too much. 
> 
> Enjoy the tears and the feels. 
> 
> As always, non-betaed, so PLEASE let me know if you see a mistake :)

“F/N! F/N!!”

“…the real enemy huh…” I mumbled. My tongue felt dry in my mouth like cotton. The clean scent of the Spirit World's forest was now gone. I grimaced as the stench of fresh blood wafted into my nose. Where in the world was I now?

“You’re finally awake! Thank goodness! You slipped into a brief comma with that concussion of yours! I’m so glad you’re finally back!”

_Concussion? What are they talking about?_

My eyes snapped open as I attempted to sit up quickly, gasping as a piercing pain shot through my stomach.

“The female spirit was here- AHH-FUCK!” I hissed, clutching my ribcage as the waves of pain washed through me.

“Careful! You broke three ribs and cracked your scull! You’re in no condition to move friend.”

Two small hands placed themselves on my shoulders and gently lowered me back down onto the rattling cart.

“The female titan-“

“Shhh- we know about that- already tried to capture her too.”

“Krista? That’s you behind me isn’t it?” I realized suddenly. She was seriously too nice for her own good, always taking care of people- **always**.

“Yes, it’s me, who else did you think it was? I’m one of the few healers left conscious after everything went down. I'm sorry about the quick and dirty healing job though- I’m just trying to help out the people that need me most right now.”

Of course I wasn’t the only one on the injured cart- they had crammed at least nine other people beside me and by the looks of it, I was the luckiest one here.

“You the only healer here?” I asked, astonished that our ratio of healer to soldier had become so bad. What in the world had happened since I was out?

“Unfortunately. We’re running really low on healers now.”

“Well, if you pass me some water I can heal myself, at least enough so that I can sit up and you can help out the others.”

“Are you sure you can do that? You’re hurt pretty bad.”

I snorted, “Not as bad as anyone else on this cart. I’ll be good.”

“Suit yourself then,” Krista shrugged, “Before I do that, I have to tell you that …ummm… you lost your right arm back there. Oh gosh, I should have said that more delicately! I’m so sorry F/N! There’s some good news though! Whoever patched it up before I got to you did an amazing job- there’s already scar tissue around it and-“

I couldn’t hold back, I just burst out laughing. Tears poured down my face as I clutched my throbbing ribs. Half of the tears were from the pain of my explosive laughter with the other half of them from the part of me that found her apology ridiculously hilarious.

“I- uh…why are you laughing?” Christa asked, sounding very concerned.

I must have looked crazy lying there, my hair matted with my blood, mud streaked across my face from my face plant in the ground, and now- me laughing insanely about a missing appendage. It wasn’t even that funny of a statement, yet it struck me as oddly liberating. The fact that now- I wouldn’t have to hide underneath that glove any longer.

“I lost that- haha!- arm- *gasp*- yeeeeaarss ago girl!” I giggled uncontrollably. Looking upwards toward Krista. The poor girl looked like so uncomfortable at my outburst, it was almost just as funny.

I quickly stopped my crazy lady laughing as Krista’s face turned from discomfort, to bewilderment.

“Sorry about that,” I said, instantly sobering up, “It’s hard to explain, but yeah, I lost it as a kid- I’ve been bending a ‘water arm’ for years. But seriously, can you bend me some water Krista?”

“…Uh, yeah! Sure!” Krista replied, resuming her chirpy tone.

Krista shot some water towards me and I quickly bent it around my ribs and head, beginning to heal my broken body. With the excess water, I formed my usual water arm and propped myself up once more.

For temporary positioning, I iced my broken ribs together, creating an uncomfortably cold sensation on my right rib cage, but providing the much needed stability that my broken bones needed. For my skull, I focused on gently bending my own blood out from the inflamed brain tissue while icing together the fractured pieces of my skull. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it would have to work until we got back from the mission.

My head still felt fuzzy and confused, not to mention throbbing horribly with an earth-shattering headache. Though my thoughts were scrambled and my consciousness was as clear as a mist-covered plain, one thought fought its way to lucidity.

We were still in spirit territory on our mission.

“Krista!” I exclaimed, barely managing to turn around in the limited space I was confined to, “She’s a bloodbender! The female spirit’s a blood bender! She’s also just like Eren! She’s a person with a spirit body! I need to tell someone before we go any further in the mission!”

Krista’s eyes narrowed as she turned towards me, her hands still healing the wounded soldier behind me.

“The mission’s already over F/N. We’re about thirty minutes out from the wall.”

“Wait what?! But we just started!”

“We’ve been out for a while now, but you were in a coma for a few hours up until just now. Jean took care of you after you fell before he turned you over to me for healing, though he’s pretty bruised up as well.”

“Seriously, I was out that long?” I sighed. On the bright side, I guess this counts as surviving my first mission.

“So, what else did I miss?” I asked.

Krista proceeded to explain that they Scouts had set up a trap to capture the Female Spirit, but it failed miserably. As a result, the spirit killed off nearly half of our people. It seemed that the Bitch’s goal was to capture Eren all along. From what I understood, she would have succeeded had it not been for Captain Levi and Mikasa rescuing him.

“Did you hear anything about the Female Spirit bloodbending anyone?”

“Not that I know of, but if what you said is true, you need to tell someone right away.” Krista frowned seriously.

“Where’s the commander? What direction?” I stood up carefully in the moving cart, holding the wooden railing on the side for support.

“You can’t seriously be thinking of riding an eel hound in your condition!” Crista exclaimed, “You’re not well enough to-“

“This takes precedence over my personal health. Besides, I created a frozen cast around my bones so I’ll be fine- uncomfortable, but ok.” I replied sternly, signaling our fellow squad-mate to bring me a spare eel hound.

 

\--

 

“Yip-yip!” I yelled at my eel hound, driving him forward in a sprint for the commander’s squad.

Our formation was already beginning to close in as the Spirit Wall began to ascend in the approaching horizon. The sun was setting behind us, casting an unearthly maroon glow on the grass before me.

 _"A red sunset for a red day,"_ I thought grimly.

“Commander!” I called out as soon as I was in ear shot.

“Hurry it up slow-poke!” I urged to the eel-hound below, clicking my heels sharply against its sides for encouragement.

“Commander Erwin, I need to talk to you!” I called as I pulled up beside him.

His windblown blond hair still managed to its flawless order atop his crown, a testament to his hair products no doubt, but it wasn’t his hair that caught my attention. His blue eyes were downcast, though still looking forward at the approaching wall. While I could tell his determination still burned brightly within them, there was a haggard darkness that lurked beneath the surface.

“State your business soldier.” He boomed with undeniable authority, still looking into the distance.

“Sir, I have critical information about the Female Spirit encountered earlier. I fought her at the beginning of the mission and I have to tell you that she’s a bloo-“

“Stop!” He commanded, before lowering his deep voice so that only I could hear him, “Meet me in my quarters tonight- 8:30 pm sharp. Don’t talk about _**anything** else_ to _**anyone** else _ about this. That’s an order soldier.”

“I--yes sir.”

He nodded.

“Now, go back to your post. And **don’t** die on the way back- that’s an order as well.”

“Sir!” I nodded.

 

\--

 

My first mission, our first mission together was done. A failure at best, seeing that we didn’t capture the female titan and that we were no closer to understanding the spirits, or what Eren’s Spirit shifting was all about.

I was now back at the base, walking to my room to heal up before heading over to see Commander Erwin.

It was 6:34pm as I turned into the dark corridor that led to the room I shared with Mikasa. I doubted Mikasa would come back to our room tonight- she was too concerned about Eren’s recovery to sleep anywhere but by Eren’s side.

 _Seriously, they should just get together already._ I thought snidely to myself.

Before I walked into the room, I quickly ran down to the showers, thoroughly scrubbing my body of any trace of blood and mud.

When I walked into my rather tiny room, I noticed a small newspaper-wrapped package had been placed neatly on my bed. The bundle was wrapped tightly with twine and clinked ever so slightly when I picked it up and held it to my ear.

“A present eh? I wonder who sent it.” I muttered to myself.

I carelessly opened the package, sending floating pieces of paper scattered around the wooden floor. In the center of the box stood a small black teapot decorated with the simple engraving,“  _When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change._ ” The teapot set came with two black matching cups, one of which, had a slight chip atop the rim. Both cups were engraved on the side with, _“No regrets.”_

I instantly fell in love with it: with the simplicity and elegance of the tea set. 

I uncapped the lid from the teapot, revealing a small scroll of parchment deep within.

 

\--

_F/N,_

_By the time you get this message, I know you will have successfully completed your first mission as a Scout! I know congratulations are in order, but you already know that a “congratulations” over all the losses you will face, and have yet the face, means nothing. So to you, I say not congratulations, but instead, commend you for the courage you have shown in the face of life and death. This is hard work, but it is work that must be done._

_In the Scouts, we have a tradition to pass down a teapot and cup to our favorite rookie after this first mission. I know you will survive, which is why I’m giving this before the mission starts and not afterwards, like I’m supposed to- so DON’T tell anyone I did that._

_This teapot was given to me after my first mission by my mentor. Now, I give it to you- drink from it when your spirits are low, and you need some liquid courage as we all say. I hope you’ll take the quotes to heart as well, they’ve served me well these last few years._

_With love,_

_Your Scout-Sister-in-Spirit Petra_

_PS: I’ve talked to the Captain about your skill level. Keep it up, and you’ll be joining the elite squad with me very soon :)_

_PSS: I forgot to mention this earlier, but come find me as soon as the mission’s over and bring the teapot to my room so we can share your first pot of tea!_

 

 

\--

 

“Petra! I’m here!” I announced loudly, swinging open her door without knocking, “I brought the teapot!”

Instead of seeing Petra sitting at her desk as she usually was, she was standing, her face turned from me covered by her hood, looking stoically out the window.

I sighed in relief, she was alive after all, though on crutches with her left ankle wrapped up all the way up her calf.

Speaking of calves, had her legs always been… _that_ muscular?

“Petra, I just wanted to say thank you for the amazing gift, I’ve never really had anything like it before and I-“

The hooded figure reached up lowered the forest green hood, revealing none other than Captain Levi.

“Captain Levi!” I saluted, now confused, “What are you doing in here sir? Did I just miss her?”

Levi slowly hobbled over to me, his silvery-blue eyes bearing straight into mine. He stopped just a few feet before me, placing his injured foot down on the ground and shifting all of his weight onto his right leg.

“Petra’s dead. She died protecting Eren.” He said bluntly, sighing deeply, “…I’m sorry.”

I looked at him, dumbfounded at his stupid joke.

“Ha-ha, _very_ funny Heichou.” I laughed dryly, glancing uncomfortably around the room, avoiding his gaze, “But really, where is she?”

Levi didn’t respond, but instead placed a hand on my shoulder.

_No…no…no!!!_

I stumbled backwards, away from his unwanted gesture of kindness.

“Captain, where is Petra?!” My voice cracked upwards on the last word.

Maybe it was the concussion, or the sheer amount of stress and pain, but something inside me snapped at the man standing in front of me. At that moment, he was the enemy, and I wanted to slice his head clean off of his shoulders.

“Don’t you dare FUCK with me SHORTIE! Where the HELL is she?!” I screeched, shifting my free-standing water arm into a jagged sword, aiming it straight for his neck, still holding the teapot and cups in my other hand.

As my arm extended my ribs snapped with a sickening crunch as the ice holding them together gave way. I gasped from the pain and crumpled down onto the floor. Levi’s figure blurred in motion as he snatched the teapot out from under me just before I fell.

“You need to calm the _fuck_ down before you do something even more stupid!” Levi hissed. Pinning me to the ground with the heel of his injured leg.

“Get the hell off of me!” I snarled through the stabbing pain in my side. My eyes began to blur as the tears began to fall.

Without thinking, I blood bent the leg that pinned me down and threw it towards the far side of the room.

Levi’s weight left me and I heard an “Oof!” followed by a muffled “Fuckin’ shit!” as his body collided with the wall. His body didn’t hit the wall as it should have- it seemed as if he had managed to create an air current to soften his crash.

I looked over to where I had thrown Levi, only to see his handsome face grimacing in pain as his arm clutched his injured leg.

_Holy shit.  
_

_…  
_

_What the hell did I just do?_

 

 

My emotions got the better of me, and of course, I did the only thing that made sense after throwing your superior into a wall- I ran away.

 

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it (again, sorry for the angsty stuff)! Feel free to let me know what you think of the series so far! I'd love to hear your thoughts on it :D 
> 
> Also, a random sidenote on editing stuff:
> 
> So, I always edit my work before I post it, and sometimes, when I can’t think of something good to write, I just put down the first thing that comes to mind and this happens. Hopefully you’ll get a kick out of this. This is what my first draft-o-crap looks like
> 
> "I couldn’t hold back, I just burst out laughing. It was like explosive diarrhea, but with words. [omg girl change this- you is ridikulous] laughing so hard that tears started pouring out from my eyes. Half of them from the pain of just laughing with my broken ribs, and half from the part of me that found her apology just ridiculously hilarious. "  
> #firstdraftcrap #neveragainwillIwriteat2am
> 
>  
> 
> Have beautiful day!


	15. The Night of a Thousand Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Enjoy! 
> 
> As always, my work is non-betaed so let me know if you see something wrong and I will fix it :)
> 
> Have a most beautiful day!

I stood atop the castle, looking out forlornly towards the rising moon. I had just re-iced my broken ribs in an effort to avoid thinking about what just happened. It was a lot to take in after all- The expedition, the female spirit, that weird-ass dream about the spirit world, and Petra-

A lump formed in my throat as my already red eyes began to water again.

_Petra. She couldn’t be dead. She was so smart- so strong- such an incredible human being._

_Please, if there is a God out there, let her still be alive._ I prayed to the nothingness above me, to the ancient Gods that had never once answered nor spoke as humanity continued to crumble behind our dying walls.

I was a wreck, overcome by a river of ever-changing emotions. Anger. Frustration. Emptiness. Sadness. Confusion. Pain. All the feelings mashed together with a general attempt to feel nothing at all.

As I gazed numbly at the sky surrounding me, I became acutely aware of the approaching footsteps of leather brushing on stone accompanied by a strange metallic click.

I refused to look behind me as the stranger, who was in fact, not a stranger at all, limped up beside me.

“Here,” He spoke, his voice solemn and quiet, “Drink this.”

The captain proffered a one of the cups that Petra had given me, filled with a liquid that I could only assume was his own blend of tea by the way it smelled.

I still couldn’t quite bear to look at him, lest he judge or scorn me.

“Thank you.” I whispered under my breath, face downcast, as I took the tea from his hand, blowing on it gently before sipping.

From the moment the tea first touched my lips, I felt its warmth flooding straight through my body. The tea had a gentle, almost bitter-sweet taste of rose, mint, cinnamon, and something else I couldn’t quite put a finger on. I sighed as the melody of flavors sang in my mouth.

I felt a throbbing pang in my chest as his wordless gesture touched my soul. He didn’t yell at me for throwing him against the wall when he was already wounded. He didn’t chastise me for my outburst of emotions. He simply accepted what had happened, accepted me, and moved forward without any ill-will or regrets it seemed.

I burst into tears- a raging torrential tsunami of salt water.

You know, some girls have those dainty little tears, and soft sniffles, and cute pink noses when they cry?

 

Not me.

Nope.

Not one bit.

 

Puffy red eyes. Water flooding from both eyes and nostrils. It’s hardly endearing, but it gets the job done.

I buried my face into my hands as I sobbed uncontrollably. As I hiccuped, a pair of warm hands wrapped themselves around my trembling figure, pulling me in until my body was fleshed against his. Levi held me firmly, one hand in the small of my back, and one arm gently stroking my [h/c] hair.

He didn’t say anything, but held me firmly in his arms as I my body was wracked by the rippling sobs.

I never would have guessed he would be such a compassionate person by his strict behavior and non-nonsense attitude. I wondered if he treated all of his cadets like this. Some part of me hoped deep inside that I was special to him in some regard- even though I consciously knew  _that_ was just a stupid teenager thought.

 

_Spirits, I hope he doesn’t kill me for all the snot that’s going on his shirt. He probably will anyway, being the clean freak that he was._ I smiled a little bit.

After a few minutes of choked sobs, I managed to collect myself, and pulled away from him. My body felt empty as I left his warm embrace. I briefly shivered as the cold evening breeze passed by me.

“Thanks for the tea…and everything else.” I croaked, my voice severely hoarse.

Levi nodded with a curt bob of his head. Though his mouth and eyebrows remained motionless and unreadable, I thought I caught a faint glimmer of worry in his narrowed eyes.

“It was the female spirit wasn’t it.” I said turning away from him, continuing to gaze over the top of the castle. It wasn’t a question, but an acknowledgement of the truth I now understood.

“Yes.” Levi sighed, leaning against his crutches as his gaze followed mine into mountains beyond, “It was all that  _fucker’s_ fault.”

As silence fell on me and the captain, I glanced towards my uncovered water arm. Levi hadn’t mentioned it, yet I knew he had already noticed it.

___Well…now’s as good as time as any I suppose…_ _ _

__“_ _ Captain, I was going to wait to tell you this but-“

 “Then you should wait until you tell the Commander first.” Levi deadpanned.

“….Wait, what?”

 “You can tell me all about your encounter with the female spirit later since we’re all meeting at 8:30 to talk about this bitch anyway, and from what I heard from Jean, you have quite the story to tell us brat.” Levi smirked ever so slightly as he called me ‘brat’ to my chagrin.

“Oh…that…” I drifted off, unsure as to what I should say. He completely misunderstood where I was going with that.

Levi caught on and quickly followed up with, “-But that wasn’t what you wanted to tell me was it?”

“No sir, it was-“

“Levi.”

I paused.

“Huh?”

“I’m getting sick and tired of you saying sir this, sir that all the time. When it’s just you and me, just call me Levi. No Captain, no sir. Just Levi. All these fucking formalities are killin’ me.”

I blinked.

“Well, then …Levi…um…,” I hesitated, trying out the alien word that felt abnormal gliding over my tongue. It felt strange, like I was too familiar with him now, on equal footing as it were.

“Wow, that’s really going to take some getting used to huh? Levi…. Levi… LEEEvi. Leeeeeeeeeeeviii.” I said, trying out his name with various different inflections.

_Shit! Did I just do that in front of him?_

I quickly turned my head to see his reaction. The red blush was already running up my cheeks.

Levi’s eyes were wide opened, staring at me like I was criminally insane or something.

“The fuck’s wrong- *snort*- with you?!”

“Sorry…I just…”

Levi covered his mouth as he snorted again. Just as I noticed that his shoulders were quickly rising up and down.

 

_Oh_

_My_

_Spirits._

_No wonder why I’ve heard he never laughs!_

_He’s a snorter!!!!_

 

“You are too- *snort*-fucking weird *snort*-“ Levi gasped between snorts, slightly doubling over on his crutches.

“Holy shit! You’re a snorter???” I giggled, crying once more from the tears that still lingered from before.

Instantly, Levi stiffened, as if just realizing what he just did.

_Woops._

“If you tell anyone-“ He warned, his voice dipping dangerously, his previous humor instantly dispelled.

“Cross my heart, hope to die, kill a spirit in the blink of an eye.” I solemnly swore crossing body with just a twitch of a mischievous smile.

Levi rolled his eyes.

This was just too rich- I couldn't resist adding, “If only humanity knew its strongest soldier was a snorte-“ 

Before I could finish my sentence, Levi wacked me playfully in the leg with the crutch supporting his twisted leg.

“Shit!” Levi hissed as his ankle collapsed, causing him to lose his balance and fall towards the ground.

Instantaneously, I grabbed him with my water arm, preventing him from falling.

“Sir!” I cried worriedly and I gently lowered him towards the ground.

“I thought I just told you,” Levi grimaced as I lowered him down towards the ground, extending out his wounded leg to prevent further damage, “just Levi.”

“You need to be more careful with your ankle, especially since the four ligaments are still pretty badly torn!” I mused, dropping towards the ground with him, quickly assessing his injury with my bending abilities.

“Four ligaments?” Levi frowned, “The healer told me I only tore three.”

“Looks like she missed one then. You mind?” I held my water arm out just a few inches away from his ankle.

“Go for it.”

I instantly surrounded his leg with my glowing healing water, concentrating first on disabling his pain sensors.

“Can’t feel a thing now.” Levi commented, watching intently as I worked on his leg.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

Levi shrugged nonchalantly, tilting his impossibly gorgeous face back against the stony railing that circled the castle wall, looking upwards toward the evening sky above.

“How long will it take to heal?” He asked.

I grimaced, “At least two months naturally-”

“Shit.” He hissed, clearly irked.

“-But with accelerated healing sessions, maybe two weeks at best?”

“Alright then.” Levi said matter-of-factly, “You have one week.”

“Wait…what?!” I exclaimed, abruptly ceasing my healing, my water hand withdrawing reflexively.

“Fuck! Don’t stop just yet!” Levi hissed as the pain washed back over his face.

“Sorry!” I apologized, gently resuming my healing touch.

As Levi’s face softened again, I pressed forward with my newly formed questions.

“Two weeks.” I demanded, “You need at minimum, two weeks with a master-healer.”

“Not happening.” Levi reaffirmed, “You get one week to fix me up. End of story.”

“It is if you fully want to recover!” I snapped back, my voice laced with raw steel, “You’ll do as I say, and take two weeks with a master healer.”

“We don’t have time for that.” Levi murmured, completely unresponsive to my threatening tone.

“Look- we just finished the mission, you have enough time for-“

“And what about Eren’s trial in the next eight days? Did that somehow manage to slip your mind?! We have to find and capture the female spirit BEFORE Eren goes to the capital. That means you have seven days before everything goes to shit.” Levi snapped back.

Shit. I totally forgot about the deal. That this mission was a trial run to determine Eren’s safety in the Scouts. With the failed mission…Fuck……

“It did manage to slip my mind.” I whispered numbly, my gaze downcast as I realized my mistake. Humiliation branded my cheeks.

“But why me Capt- I mean Levi? Why me as a healer? I’m new, and inexperienced, and-“

“I trust you.” He said, staring at me with his piercing gaze that filled my stomach with the strangest feeling of butterflies and nausea.

“And please? Inexperienced?” Levi scoffed, “Let’s be real, how many water-benders are able to psychically control water the way you do? 

He gestured out towards my water arm.

 

So he did notice.

 

“Point taken.” I smiled, rolling my eyes, still unable to conceal the genuine happiness from his compliment.

 

Levi and I then slipped into a calming silence as I continued to heal his leg. It was relaxing, simply focusing on one task, slowly reconnecting and reinforcing his torn ligaments together bit by bit. It was a beautiful reprieve from the violence and losses we had both suffered. I could tell Levi was similarly affected. His eyes closed and his breathing slowed into a deep rhythmic pattern 

I found myself stealing quick glances at his unearthly beautiful face. His raven hair darkly framed his handsome face, offsetting his porcelain complexion. The way his long ebony lashes curled from his sleep-deprived eyes was sinfully perfect. He was in all truth, a flawless combination of the extremes, a gentle face with steel-piercing eyes, severe lips that now tilted gently tilted upwards, crass words with unexpected compassion, and strict composure with snorting laughs. He was simply just him, Levi.

I realized then that it wasn’t just a childish adoration I held towards the man laying before me.

I loved him.

 

A strange, but welcome sensation floated forth in my heart as I smiled, reluctantly tearing my gaze away from his face returning my attention back onto his ankle.

 

\--

 

“We should probably head to the meeting soon,” Levi sighed, his eyes opening slowly, as if just awaking from a wonderful dream, “Shitty glasses is going to go crazy if she doesn’t hear everything firsthand from you.”

“…Shitty glasses?” I questioned, withdrawing my arm from his leg.

Levi smirked, “She goes by Hanji, and she’s the craziest fuckin’ spirit-lover you’ll ever meet.”

If I had heard that description from any other person, I would have assumed they would have hated the person they were describing. With Levi though, he said it almost reverently, with exasperated affection. Whoever this Hanji chick was, I had a feeling they were pretty close. I also had the strangest feeling that I would like her instantly.

_____To be continued..._____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading- I truly hoped you guys enjoyed reading this chapter (I really loved writing this chapter with all of the angsty teenage stuff). As always, let me know what you think- I love your feedback and I'm always striving to better my writing skills :)
> 
> Also, can I just say I'm super excited for Hanji to be making an appearance at last?! WOOT WOOT!


	16. Beyond the Wilds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...four months later, the chapter finally arrives. I'm soooo sorry it took me so long. I've been incredible busy and had a recent death in the family- so I took a break from the fanfiction- but I'm finally back! I expect to be writing MUCH more in the future- again, thank you for your patience. Enjoy!

“Let’s go in- looks like the meeting’s already started.” Levi said as we approached Erwin’s room. A yellow light shown beneath the door and whispers of familiar voices sounded throughout the stony hallway.

 

Levi seemed to be in a considerably better mood since our talk. I noticed he was already able to put some weight on his recently injured ankle.

 

I smiled with genuine satisfaction. In these dark hours, I’d take all the brief happiness I could get my hands on.

 

“Hope this doesn’t take too long, I feel like death.“ I murmured as I reached towards the door, my fingers barely grazing the brass handle before the door burst open, knocking me backwards. My head screamed as the wood edge of the door collided painfully with my skull.

 

“FUCK!” I cursed, staggering back as my head re-imploded from the pain of my previous injury. I quickly gripped my head with my water arm, instantly dulling the pain as a few rebellious tears leaked from my still puffy red eyes.

 

“Oh my gosh! I am sooooo sorry!!! I didn’t mean to hit you!” An unfamiliar yet clearly feminine voice called out.

 

“HANJI!” Levi roared, “How many fucking times do I have to tell you to SLOWLY open the DOOR! Not to FLUCKING throw it open like a FUCKING BANSHEE you four-eyed maniac!”

 

I turned my blurring vision onto the door-slamming girl who I now understand to be the “shitty glasses” Levi had mentioned before. Her auburn brown hair was pulled back in a loose tousled pony tail with a pair of heavy set square glasses resting on the bridge of her nose.

 

“It’s not my fault! I sensed you guys outside of the door and I got excited!!”

 

“All the more reason to NOT to-!”

 

“Hey,” I interrupted, acutely aware of my now fading vision, “not to awkwardly end the shouting match or anything, but my vision’s going spotty here. I think I need to sit down…”

 

“Crap, I’m sorry! Here, take my arm!”

 

Hanji quickly took my hand and guided me to a cushioned seat.

 

“Thanks.” I muttered thickly, sitting down and cradling my head in between my legs.

 

“So this is the water-arm girl you’re always talking about Lev-“ Hanji began, her voice brimming with excitement.

 

“-How’s the head?” Levi interrupted with a high sense of urgency.

 

“Not doing so great.” I was so very close to passing back out of consciousness, only my determination to share what I had learned about the female spirit kept me awake, “But I need to tell you guys about her… the female spirit I mean.”

 

“Please do! I’m _dying_ to hear about it!” Hanji exclaimed, “What was it like? How was her muscle tone? Her voice? Did she yell or talk? Did she-“

 

“Hanji!” Levi hissed threateningly, throwing a nasty look towards her, though Hanji seemed totally unfazed by it.

 

“Sorry, I’ll listen now- it’s just so- so- … FINE Levi!” She huffed, her cheeks red from her unadulterated interest, finally silenced by Levi’s deathly stare.

 

“The female spirit is a bloodbender. She blood bent our whole team and almost killed me. I – I somehow managed to bloodbend her back though. She dropped us all at that point I think… and that’s pretty much all I remember before I blacked out.” I whispered hurriedly, realizing I wasn’t going to be able to hang on much longer from the increasing pounding and blurring of my vision.

 

“She wasn’t able to bloodbend us though. Or didn’t bloodbend us anyway.” Mikasa’s voice pierced through my groggy mist.

 

“Great. More shit to deal with.” Levi grumbled.

 

“You blood bent her back?” Hanji asked. “How did you do that? Why didn’t she bloodbend you after you attacked her?”

 

“Umm…” my head gave a nasty throb that caused me to whimper, “I…don’t know. I just knew I could do it, so I pulled her as hard as I could.”

 

“What did it feel like? How did it…hmmm…maybe when you went on the offense, you damaged her some way so that she couldn’t blood bend anymore…. I wonder if- I mean this is total speculation- but-” Hanji’s voice increased in tempo, “if you damaged her in some way that she couldn’t bend anymore, that would explain why she was unwilling, or rather, unable to bend anyone else after your encounter, meaning-!”

 

“The girl inside is a waterbender.” Armin finished, his blue eyes unnaturally widened.

 

“Yes, but who!?” Hanji retorted back, “Who would it be? That’s the question we need to……..Now here’s what I think….”

 

I was at my limit. Hanji’s voice quickly faded out of my perception as my body tumbled towards the dark red carpet flooring.

 

As I passed into the void, I thought I heard Levi calling out my name.

.....

_(two weeks later)_

.....

 

“How long have I been here.” I murmured to myself, waving both my arms in front of me into the white mist that surrounded me. As my fingertips extended away from my body, they seemed to vanish in the thickness of it.

 

I had tried walking around in the mist, trying to find some bearing of where I was, but to no avail. Occasionally, I had bumped into another spirit walker (at least, that was what I decided to call them, for lack of a better word). They looked like humans, but when I reached out to grab them for help, my grasping fingers went straight through them, like ghosts. Initially, I had tried to make contact with them by attempting to grab them, yelling, trying to communicate with them and figure out what the hell this place even was. Each time though, they ignored me, as if I didn’t even exist as they disappeared back into the blinding white mist.

 

So here I was, sitting crouched on the ground, if there was even a ground below me. Time seemed irrelevant here. There simply was no concept of time- every moment was filled with the heavy oppressive mist. The only possibility I could think of was that once again, I was trapped deep within the realms of the spirit world.

 

I retracted in my left arm from the mist. I sighed as my  It seemed wrong, to not be armless with a strand of water melting in to my shoulder, but a hunk of meat, bones and all.

 

Being whole never felt so broken.

 

“F/N…?” A whisper of a voice brushed past me.

 

_Crap. I’m already hearing voices. The descent into madness has begun._

 

“F/N.” The voice called as a hand pressed gently down onto my shoulder.

 

I blinked.

 

“Either this must be a pretty convincing hallucination or-“ I glanced upwards, the puzzled face of Annie Leonhart looked down at me. Her mouth hung slightly ajar and her eyebrows crinkled in confusion.             

                                                                                                   

“Annie?!” I exclaimed, popping up to standing position, “What on earth are you doing…here?!”

 

I gestured vaguely to the mist around us.

 

“I was just about to ask you the same thing.” She frowned. “Why…no _how_ are you here?”

 

“Beats me. I hit my head on a door and wound up here. What is this place? I’ve figured out it’s some part of the spirit world, but I can’t seem to leave this time. I-…”

 

My sentence drifted off.

 

_Why was Annie here, and how did she get here?_

It didn’t make any sort of logical sense…did it? Something was off. Maybe with her, maybe with me, maybe with this place, but something, I didn’t know what, was wrong.

 

“You’ve been here for a while then.” She said ignoring my question grabbing my arm sharply to examine it.

 

“The hell?” I exclaimed, resisting her sudden grab.

 

“Look.” She demanded, holding my arm out before me.

 

The edges of my arm were nearly opaque. My eyes widened as her fingers barely slipped inside my skin as if I wasn’t even there.

 

“Shit! Is that bad?”

 

“Yes. You’re almost dead. You need to go back soon or else you’ll be lost here forever.”

 

“Well that’s clearly an easy fix.” I groaned sarcastically.

 

 “…How do you know all of this anyway?” I asked warily.

 

“Doesn’t matter.”

 

Ok, something was _definitely off_.

 

I had to act normal, I couldn’t let her know I was beginning to become suspicious.

 

“So…any idea how we can get out of…this?” I spoke, keeping my voice as even as possible.

 

“Yes.”

 

I waited for her to continue-to elaborate further.

..

….

…

..

“Annie?” I ventured forward nervously.

 

“I’ll sent you back. Even though I can’t return just yet. Not as I am now anyhow.” Annie glanced away, clenching her fists with frustration.

 

“Why can’t we both return back together? Doesn’t that make more sense?”

 

“That’s not an option.” She sighed heavily, her eyes dimming with acceptance.

 

“Look,” she began, “I know this doesn’t make much sense right now, and I don’t have enough time to explain it all right now, just know that I did what I had to do. I did the right thing, though you may think otherwise…and that I’m sorry…I never intended to cause so much hurt…but someone had to try to make things right…”

 

“I…don’t understand.” I blinked, “Look, I’m just going to say it- you’re freakin’ me out Annie. Can you just give me some answers already?”

 

“Answers eh? You want answers?” Her voice slipped into a low register, barely audible. In all the years I had known her, I had never seen a rage like this sweep over her. Her lips pursed into a tight red line, blue eyes bulging disturbingly forward out of her skull, body wrought with tension- a soft boiling anger that flooded her entire being.

 

_Shit._

 

“FINE!” She screamed, voice crackling through the mist. “The spirits aren’t evil! There, that’s an answer! And all of this?! The war against the spirits? All humanity’s fault. All humanity’s fucking fault!! And Eren? Eren’s possessed by the most powerful destructive spirit in the entire cosmos and humanity treats him as a gift instead of a threat that endangers the whole world?!”

 

Suddenly, she paused, breathing rapidly in short heaving breaths. Then, she stopped breathing. Closed her eyes. When she reopened her eyes, they were now clear passive eyes again. The outburst at a close.

 

“I wish I could tell you more [F/N], but I need to send you back to the human world before you fade completely. I’m sorry, I wish I could tell you more. I truly do.”

 

“I-…I-…”

 

“Look, if nothing else, know this, when you start doubting humanity, come find me again in the Spirit world. Then, I can give you the answers you seek.”

 

“I don’t understand- Eren is the enemy? The Spirits…not evil?”

 

Annie didn’t respond, but she grasped both of my transparent hands with her own.

 

The world blurred around me, the mist completely disappearing as everything turned first gray, then black.

 

To be continued...


	17. Skeletons in the closet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I"M BACK!!! AHHH!!! *draws breath from the grave*- I'm finally done with all of the hospital visits and surgery and I'm ALIVE WOOT WOOT! Sorry for the long delay- I swear I will finish this for my love of Levi- and alas, my lovely readers, here it is! The next chapter!

“-And that’s what happened during the two weeks you were gone. More or less anyway.” Armin said.

 

“Two weeks?” I sighed, glancing towards the sunlight streaked window by my bedside. “Why is it that everything seems to go to hell when I’m out?”

 

“Beats me.” Armin shrugged leaning back in the chair beside me.

 

For now, I was unable to leave my room. During my two week adventure in the spirit world, I had lost 20lb, a quarter of my muscle tone, and nearly all of my appetite. I hadn’t been this weak since I was starving and working in the fields after the first spirit attack. I was in no condition to stand up on my skeletal limbs, at least for the next few days.  

 

“So, let me get this straight,” I began, trying to put all the pieces together, “Annie was the female spirit. The scouts tried to capture her, yada-yada-yada-Eren wins, then she crystalized herself in a red cocoon to avoid being caught? Is that it? Am I missing anything here?”

 

“That’s more or less what happened. We’re just, you know, glad to have you back with us.” Armin smiled, “Everyone was afraid you would…well…”

 

 _Die._ _Well, with my current history of near death experiences, it seemed the odds were not in my favor. But man, I couldn’t get passed the fact that I missed all of the major events that seemed to happen in my absence. In the back of my mind, I wondered if someone were writing my story and wanted to gloss over the main events in favor of continuing on with the story, my story. But that’s just crazy talk…or is it?_

 

“I’m glad to be back though.” I smiled lightly.

 

“We were really missing you… I mean-“

 

For the most part, I ignored Armin’s rambling. Annie. She was all I could think about, especially with what she said in the spirit world.  What did she mean about Eren being the “enemy?” Was that why she said she couldn’t come back? Because of that shit she just pulled trying to kill everyone? It didn’t make the slightest bit of sense to me!

 

_Spirits, Annie. Just who are you anyway? Are you for humanity? Or against it?_

 

Part of me was furious with her, killing off nearly the entire elite squad, _murdering_ humans. It was unthinkable, a human murdering another human. But the question was still why? Why did she do what she did? She wasn’t one to do something without a reason. Everything she did had a purpose. And that begged the question, what was so important that validated the killing of humans?

 

 _Eren_. I thought. _Was Eren…an enemy? Him, a friend I’ve known since we were children? Who saved just saved all of our lives? Including Annie’s when he sealed the spirit gate to keep out the spirits and protect us?_

 

It didn’t make sense.

 

Armin’s eyes widened, “I almost forgot! Captain wanted to have a word with you when you woke up- said it was urgent! I’ll be right back!”

 

“Huh?” I snapped back to attention, “What about?”

 

“Not sure.” Armin squeaked, his voice cracking up an octave.

 

“You’ve always been a terrible liar you know.” I smirked, trying to casually play off the brooding thoughts in my mind, “Come on! Just tell me already!”

 

“I really can’t-  I promised, anyway, the captain wanted to tell you himself. He told me he’d kill me if I-“

 

“I hope you’re not telling her what I think you are.” A cold voice called into the room as Levi quickly entered, his gazed fixed on Armin.

 

“Heichou!” We both exclaimed, saluting him.

 

Levi waved his hand, dismissing us.

 

“Arlet, give us a moment.” He asked, walking with slow, deliberate steps towards my bedside, taking the closest seat next to me, opposite of Armin.

 

“Of course sir!” Armin made a hasty retreat out the door, not bothering to look back.

 

“You wanted to see me sir?” I asked, doing my best to straighten up in his presence, despite my frail body.

 

“Yes I did.” He began, before briefly pausing, examining me with his piercing eyes. “You look like shit, you know.”

 

I rolled my eyes, “ _Thanks._ Real confidence booster sir.”

 

“Why haven’t you been eating your food?” He said, crossly, his eyebrows narrowing as he viewed my discarded oatmeal.

 

“I…I’m not hungry.” I replied weakly. The mere thought of eating made me nauseous.

 

“Eat. That’s an order.”

 

I stared at him, grimacing.

 

“But sir-“ I objected.

 

“Now.” He commanded, glaring.

 

I gulped, slowly reaching towards the ceramic bowl. My hands were barely able to grasp the chilled bowl as I placed it neatly on my stomach. I lifted my toothpick arm with my spoon and took a trembling bite. Instantly, bile filled my mouth.

 

“See, was that so hard-“

 

I reeled, managing to grab the trash can beside me before I retched.

 

“Alright, Alright! Never mind eating.” Levi groaned, pointedly glancing away.

 

Talk about embarrassing, vomiting in front of my reluctant hero.

 

Life: 1

 

Me: 0

 

“I told you,” I said weakly, “Not hungry.”

 

“So you did say.” He replied, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation or worry- I couldn’t tell which.

 

To my surprise, Levi grabbed his pocket handkerchief and made to clean up my chin.

 

“You don’t have to do that sir,” I blushed, moving away from his tentative touch.

 

“Just shut up already.” He growled, his rough voice contradicting the gentle strokes as he wiped the vomit from my face.

 

“So,” I started, trying to alleviate my embarrassment of having my crush clean up my mess, “Armin said you had something to tell me sir.”

 

“I thought I told you just Levi when we’re alone.” He grumbled softly, beneath his breath.

 

“Sorry, I forgot…Levi.”

 

A heavy air fell over us. It was oppressing, and the darkness seemed to be emanating from every pore of Levi’s being. Something was definitely wrong.

 

“Levi…” I said cautiously, “Is…something wrong?”

 

“Yes,” Levi snapped, “ **YOU** are the problem!”

 

I jerked back in surprise.

 

“Every other day you’re fucking incapacitated at the most inconvenient times! And now you’re emaciated, barely alive after two weeks in a shitty coma who can’t even hold down one meal! What type of healer gets herself injured and-!” Levi sighed abruptly, his previous passion dissipating from his face, “Shit, I’m sorry. Look, just forget what I said.”

 

“Levi…” I whispered. I was touched- he was worried about me.

 

“Thank you.” I said, my eyes slightly glistening with tears.

 

As Levi looked pointedly away, I saw the tip of his ears turn red.

 

“Just get better soon _brat_.” he mumbled under his breath.

 

At that, I laughed, my giggles bursting through my lips.

 

“You could have just said that to begin with! Are you always this articulate sir-I mean-Levi?” I smiled, the first true smile since I had come back from the spirit world.

 

At that Levi smacked me playfully in the head.

 

“Ow!” I yelped, playfully pretending he had re-injured my skull.

 

Levi rolled his eyes, the left side of his mouth raised in a crooked smirk.

 

 “Anyway, I came here for a reason, didn’t I?” Levi began, “While you were out, we, the Commanders of the Scouts, made some decisions about our future. In fact, we’ve made a 4-year tactical plan to prepare our troops for going to Eren’s basement. A plan that we need your help with.”

 

“Me? But-“

 

Levi silenced me with a quick wave of his hand.

 

“With your consent, we’d like you to take on the position of Head healer in the corp along with a position on our assault team, consisting of our commander, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Hanji, a couple of others who I don’t care to list, and myself of course.”

 

“I’d be honored to join.” I said, smiling up at him.

 

He nodded sharply, “Just, you know, get better soon. I don’t think I could handle seeing you look this horrible again. It was hard enough seeing you this torn up after the first spirit attack when you lost your arm.”

 

_Wait! Did he just….what?!_

 

“You… remember me?” I asked tentatively, my eyes glistening with hope.

 

“As if I could forget that,” Levi half scoffed, half chuckled, “You fuckin' smiled up at me. What wouldn’t I remember about that? You have the same shitty smile as before.”

 

“But I -…I mean…when did you know?”

 

“Call it wishful thinking, but I saw you back before the Battle for Trost when I was going out on recon with the corp. I thought it was you then, and later, when you were acting all weird and sensitive about your arm with Petra, I confirmed it.”

 

“Why didn’t you say something earlier?!”

 

“Because I wasn’t sure you remembered. Besides, I wanted you to tell me only if you wanted to.”

 

So he knew. He had always known. My heart throbbed heavily inside my chest. I blinked away the tears forming in my eyes.

 

“Levi, I just want you to know that  I truly am eternally in your debt. You were the reason why I joined the cadets- to find you and to repay my debt. I-I don’t know how I could ever make it up to you.” I choked out, my voice cracking with emotion.

 

“There’s no debt to be had kid, I did what any decent person would have done in this hell hole.” He smiled. Not his usual sarcastic smile, but a lopsided grin that exposed his flawless teeth. His silver eyes looked at me softly, gently even. Of all the sides I had seen from him, I had never seen him this emotional before.

 

I smiled downwards, my cheeks burning.

 

“You know, I always wanted to meet you and see what type of person you’d be. “

 

“And what did you find out I wonder? Am I everything you expected I’d be?” He replied sarcastically, quickly switching back to his old self. I felt sad seeing his gentle side disappear so quickly. I want to see more of him. To know all of his sides, to see his secret smiles and snorting laughs- I just wanted…him…

 

“Everything and more.” I smirked back, covering up my inner thoughts.

 

“Suck-up.”

 

“Sentimental moment-ruiner.” I joked back.

 

Levi snorted a single laugh, before covering his face from me and I giggled. Before I knew it, four years had passed in the blink of an eye....  

 

\--

Note to readers- yep, get ready for it, a four year time skip. MC will be 19 now (I can't bring myself to do underage shenanigans), but now...well... you'll have to wait and see ;) 


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